The Humiliation Merchant

by I. Humphrey

By Howard Stern's own admission, his show is all about humiliation. One might venture to write that Howard views himself as the Christopher Columbus of Humiliation, or at the very least a patent holder in it's usage as a tool for entertainment. When Howard claims the show, Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader is his invention, what he really is regarding as his creation is the adroit usage of humiliation as performance art for a modern callous society. 

Of course humiliation, and ridicule have long been a staple of entertainment, even when it's camouflaged in the news media. Boxing has a humiliation component. Perhaps it's just human nature to want to witness the misfortunes of others from a position of safety and comfort. How else can one explain gossip or rubbernecking at traffic accidents? What's the gruesome attraction? Does it start in childhood with a fascination of scary things, and monsters? Maybe it blooms in puberty when boys delight in all that is gross. This is the foundation of locker-room humor.

Nor is the craving for viewing humiliation the provenance of only the dimwitted, as the quick-witted crave it every bit as much. The erudite lover of humiliation even has an affectionate name for it -- wit. If you can humiliate someone or something with style then you're called "witty" and will be a hit at parties. You might even be compared to the famous virtuoso of wit, Oscar Wilde. However, if your humiliation skills are limited, then you will be a social pariah, and labeled as crude or worse.

From what dark place did Howard Stern's penchant for humiliation take root? You don't have to be Sigmund Freud to know the answer to this question. Obviously the seeds for a career in humiliation were sown by the same man who sowed the seeds for Howard's creation, Benjamin Stern. Of course, Ben was aided, and abetted in his Frankenstein-like endeavors by his sharp-tongued wife, Rae Stern. To prove my point, all one has to do is listen to the childhood tapes of Howard's dad yelling at him while his mother was in the room. What could be more humiliating for a sensitive child than to have his father call him stupid and a moron, all with his mother's approval? Lenny Bruce would say Rae and Ben were merely channeling behaviors ingrained in Jews since they suffered humiliation as slaves at the hands of the Egyptians during the building of the pyramids or as diarists humiliated at the height of the Third Reich. Such are the Darwinian origins of Howard's skills as a humiliationist. There, now I've coined a new word. I'll let Howard claim the credit.

One can use geography to run away, but it's impossible to escape what's in our own heads. And hanging curtains in our minds as a way to hide the things that pain us is futile. It's called denial. It's also necessary for survival as a functional, or semi-functional member of society. I submit that while Howard knows his show is all about humiliation, he's never really taken responsibility for it, and doesn't fully understand it. This is why Howard's visits to his shrink will never accomplish anything.

The day Howard acknowledges, that while his show is entertaining, it contributes nothing, is the day Howard will be on the road to self-actualization, and recovery. The Howard Stern Show doesn't make anyone better for having experienced it. All of which is fine, but what I take umbrage with is Howard, Robin, Fred, and Gary's frequent insistences that they are morally better than others. As one example of this, Howard recently said on-air that he had a problem with Rosie O'Donnell's honesty regarding her homosexuality. Coming from a person who hid his own nose job, and who used his power to prevent rival radio show hosts from mentioning him, this behavior lacks all credibility.

My opinion on all this is Howard should cut the sanctimonious bullshit, and own up to his moral inferiority. None of us are fooled.  Rescuing all the injured birds that seek refuge on his multi-million dollar Hamptons mansion will not redeem his soul or erase the memory of his lack of action when Kenneth Keith Kallenbach was rotting in jail, or the time he played with Debra Tay's cremated remains.

Humiliation is like heroin, the more you take, the more you need to get the same high. This is why Howard created Howard 100 News. The so-called reporters handle the humiliation heavy-lifting, and do the dirty-work Howard wants to enjoy, while at the same time distance himself from. This is how a loyal fan of the show like Captain Janks can have his dirty laundry aired on-air as a way to feed Howard's unending need to humiliate others. Janks has long been a willing participant in humiliating others for Howard's enjoyment, so on some level I suppose it's only fair he get humiliated too. However, I find it sad. I wonder how much Howard's publicizing of Janks legal troubles contributed and led to his prosecution. I also find it hypocritical as Howard prevents Howard 100 News from reporting on many aspects of his own life such as when his daughter appeared in the altogether in an Off-Off Broadway play. 

When we as fans listen to the show, for our own sanity, and to prevent ourselves from being so enamored with the art of humiliation that we victimize those we love,  we must be mindful of the poison we consume. Humiliation is key to understanding The Howard Stern Show, it is in fact, The Rosetta Stone for The Howard Stern Show. You've been warned.

Next time you listen to the show, try putting on a pair of glasses with humiliation lenses. It will be a revelation.

For Howard Shrine Spews and Views, this is I. Humphrey singing, "I feel witty, oh so witty, oh so witty and gay, beyaaatch!"

Captain Janks charged with theft

Captain Janks, known for 'Howard Stern Show' pranks, charged with theft
by Express-Times staff

Thursday February 26, 2009, 12:24 PM

Captain Janks, known for his prank phone calls on the "Howard Stern Show" has been accused of accepting money for bookings but never showing up to perform.

"Captain Janks," known for his prank phone calls on the "Howard Stern show" is not laughing today.

The 42-year-old North Wales, Pa., man, whose real name is Thomas Cipriano, has run into some trouble with the law. The prankster turned himself into authorities Wednesday for allegedly accepting money for a booking, but never actually making an appearance.

Barbara Seguine, who runs the Landslide Restaurant and Saloon, paid Captain Janks $350 to come to the bar on Route 173 in Bethlehem Township, N.J. But then, she says, he didn't show up, didn't call to cancel and didn't refund her money.

He was arraigned on the theft charge and released until a future court date.

A blogger spoke out on the "Howard Stern Show" Feb. 19 about how the "Whack Pack" member allegedly often pulls similar scams, according to a report in The Patriot-News.

Mike Van Jura, a talent booker for Appalachian Brewing Co. in Harrisburg, who blogs at jerseymike.org, said Captain Janks has been calling bars and clubs up and down the East Coast, booking appearances, pocketing money and never showing up.

Van Jura blogged about his experience getting ripped off by Captain Janks

source

Rosie O’Donnell Makes Her First Appearance on the Howard Stern Show


Photo courtesy: Howard TV



Rosie O’Donnell and Howard Stern broke the ice on their long-standing feud when she made her first appearance on the show this morning in a wide-ranging and often very funny interview. They talked about her start in show biz doing stand up at Richie Minervini’s The East Side Comedy Club when she was only 16. She had actually memorized Jerry Seinfeld’s act that she saw on TV the night before and performed it the next night at the club. O’Donnell said, “I did his act exactly, including all his inflections.” Stern and O’Donnell discussed topics ranging from drinking; drugs; gay rights; Kabbalah; her friendship with Madonna; her feelings about doing another talk show; her four kids and why she is not yet on Facebook. She said the closest she ever got to an orgy was Madonna’s “Sex” party for her book. O’Donnell and Stern show side-kick Artie Lange shared stories on sexuality, body image and depression.



Howard said he always had an issue with her because he thought she was dishonest about her sexuality. Rosie said that it the 90s “the media didn’t ask about it.” But Howard admitted that he “started liking her when she came out of the closet.”



Ultimately, there was a serious side to the interview. She has become an advocate to reform the foster care system, which she says is terribly broken. “There are too many kids with nowhere to go.”



The entire interview can be seen starting tomorrow, Feb. 27 on Howard TV On Demand and will be available for about three weeks.

watch short clip here

As Long As I Get Mine!

by I. Humphrey

This should be chiseled into that gravestone Howard received for his birthday. It pains me to write yet another critical post about someone for whom my admiration has steadily deteriorated. But how long can fans continue to stick their collective heads in the ground and ignore the abuse directed at them by Howard Stern? 

Fans have been loyal to the show, made it possible for Howard to live like a king, and forked over money every month for the privilege of hearing a show that has given them less and less, and taken advantage of them more and more.

My tipping point for writing this post was listening to the owner of AshleyMadison.com on today's show. Howard knows that nothing good can come from his fans cheating on their spouses. From my point of view, Howard is no better than a ghetto pimp. If Howard could make money selling us drugs he would. It's the height of hypocrisy to make money promoting AshleyMadison.com, and at the same time wanting to be viewed as a humanitarian for fleecing his fans for donations to his wife's hobby charities.

As if all this wasn't bad enough, the show's entertainment value is at it's lowest point ever -- 4-day weeks, long vacations, vapid wrap-up shows, endless bit recycling, bad guests, more crappy commercials, and lack of unscripted callers to the show. By the way, the reason Howard has closed the gates to real callers is his metamorphosis into the kind of person he used to ridicule -- a person who doesn't want to hear anything real, critical, or spontaneous. He's too fragile and can no longer deal.

As fans, I believe we've been abused far too much, and for far too long. And all this has been done in a very calculated, phoney, and insincere way. We had a good run, but our flaws have caught up with us. Maybe Howard has always been a reflection of society, and is therefore an example of one facet of society's search for a new bottom. Man that's heavy, I might have to bronze my keyboard, or at the very least throw away my bong.

Some might opine that I'm ungrateful or disloyal. I beg to differ. (Isn't this style of writing annoying and elitist?) My writing about the obvious shortcomings of the show is in fact a noble act of loyalty in that my words are the same words Howard himself would use were he to write about someone else acting like him.

For Howard Shrine Spews and Views, this is I. Humphrey saying, "Thank God I'm not Lisa G!"

Hey Now Stern Fans---Photo Opportunity

FRIDAY, FEB. 27, 2009

Howard Stern’s HOWARD TV ON DEMAND VIDEO TAPING OF STRIP BEER PONG



WHAT:

The Howard Stern Show’s Howard TV On Demand channel will be filming a new TV series for its Howard TV On Demand service called Strip Beer Pong. It’s the second chapter in the service’s off beat sports shows, coming on the heels (so to speak) of Bowling Beauties last May, in which bikini-clad ladies competed in high-heeled bowling shoes. This new series has a bit of a different angle. It is Beer Pong, but of course, as only the Stern crew can do it.



Over the past few years, Beer Pong has certainly grown in popularity around the country, spawning a national league, online versions, an official site, official Beer Pong Tables, numerous blogs and famous (infamous?) players such as Michael Phelps. We don’t think anyone has yet done Strip Beer Pong – at least, not for a television series. Leave it to the Howard Stern production team to come up with it. We’ll have sexy, adorable girls from Rick’s Cabaret who disrobe when (or if) the opposing team scores points in the Stern-esque version of a Beer Pong Tournament. The hosts of the show are Sirius Radio’s Sid Rosenberg and comedian Shuli.



WHO:

Sexy girls from Rick’s Cabaret, Show Hosts Sid Rosenberg and Shuli



WHEN:

The multi-part series will be filmed on February 27, 2009 in NYC and will air nationwide on the Howard TV On Demand service (available on every major cable system in the US and Canada) starting in late April and continuing into late May, 2009.



PHOTO OPPORTUNITY – ACCREDITED MEDIA ONLY – FRIDAY, FEB. 27, 1:00 PM



WHERE:

Sullivan Hall

214 Sullivan Street

Btw: Bleecker & W. 3rd St

New York, NY



To PHOTO EDITORS:

All photographers must be cleared beforehand in order to enter.



PLEASE CONTACT TO ATTEND:

Public Relations

iN DEMAND Networks/Howard TV

646-638-8405 – Josh Conkel or- Ellen Cooper 646-638-8206

pressoffice@howardtv.com

OR jconkel@howardtv.com

Janessa Brazil is Named Miss Howard TV for March 2009



Photo courtesy of Howard TV

Janessa Brazil has been selected as Miss Howard TV March 2009 for Howard Stern’s Howard TV On Demand service. Janessa emigrated to the U.S. from Brazil at 12 years old and was a straight A student at an all-girl Catholic school. During her interview with Stern, it became obvious that her strict upbringing actually had the opposite effect. She revealed intimate details about her hook-ups with several young ladies while she was a school girl. Her modeling career took a detour when the 5’8”, 120 pound beauty found she wasn’t tall enough and the porn business beckoned. Now 24, Janessa resides in Tampa, Florida and models full-time for her own adult website, JanessaBrazil.com. She gets a lot of strange requests from her members which she talks about in incredible detail during her interview, including something called “panty stuffing.” You’ll have to watch her appearance to learn more. Janessa also enjoyed the Stern shows favorite sex toy… the Sybian! The immediate feedback from fans is that was “the best Sybian ride ever!”

Artie Lange makes least fit celeb list


In the 1978 classic Animal House, Dean Wormer warned that, "Drunk, fat, and stupid is no way to go through life." But that formula has worked well for funnyman Artie Lange. Of course, the question remains: just how long can Artie go before he heads down the same road as John Belushi and Chris Farley? A self-proclaimed alcoholic and drug user, at 40 years old, Lange is asking a lot of his already strained liver and heart.

Least Fit Moment
Take your pick! Anyone who has encountered Lange has their own tale of raucous debauchery (most involve massive amounts of Jack Daniels). But one story that stands out to Howard Stern fans is the time Lange got so drunk in Las Vegas he had to be wheeled around the casino in a wheelchair until someone finally had the sense to park the out-of-control comedian in his hotel room for the night.

source

Sirius and XM are flying high - for now

Sirius and XM are flying high - for now

Sunday, February 22, 2009



So, XM and Sirius, the rival satellite radio services, finally merged. In recent months, the combined company, called Sirius XM, began making some dreaded and expected cutbacks in staff - including some prominent programmers and personalities (Wavy Gravy, to name just one) - and consolidating the two networks' program lineups.

What has it meant to subscribers, who've been paying about $13 a month for one or the other, and who have favorite channels, ranging from Howard Stern, the Grateful Dead and NFL Football on Sirius to Bob Dylan, Tom Petty and Major League Baseball (all year round) on XM? Do all the biggest names stay? Since both services had oldies and classic-rock stations, which ones survived? Is there now one program lineup that all subscribers get? What about pricing? When Mel Karmazin, chief executive officer of Sirius, was campaigning for governmental approval of the merger, he promised that subscribers would get more programming choices and lower prices. And what about Sirius XM's chances for survival? The company has been reported to be preparing for a possible filing for Chapter 11 protection from creditors.

Boy, as Roseanne Roseannadanna used to say, you do ask a lot of stupid questions!

I do. But I also have some answers, thanks to Scott Greenstein, chief content officer at Sirius XM.



full stry
Thanks courtjester for the info

This Week on the Greg Fitzsimmons Show

OLIVIAN MUNN (hottie from G4) is Greg's next guest -- Mon. Feb 16 @ 9pm PST / Midnight EST

The Greg Fritzsimmons show, Mondays at Midnight on Howard 101

watch Olivian eat a hot dog here

Liberty Media Corp in talks with Sirius XM

Reuters
Liberty-Sirius talks do not involve takeover

By Jui Chakravorty Das
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Liberty Media Corp (NasdaqGS:LINTA - News) is in talks with Sirius XM Radio Inc (NasdaqGS:SIRI - News) to invest in the satellite radio company's capital structure, a source said on Friday, as Sirius tries to stave off a takeover bid by EchoStar Corp (NasdaqGS:SATS - News).



Sirius XM's talks with Liberty are seen as a last-ditch attempt by Sirius chief Mel Karmazin to stave off the takeover bid by Charles Ergen's EchoStar, which holds $175 million in Sirius convertible bonds due on February 17.

Liberty's discussions with Sirius were friendly and did not involve a takeover of the company or a buyout of the equity, the source told Reuters.

Sirius said on Friday it had refinanced some of its debt that was due in December, but added that it still might have to file for Chapter 11 protection if talks toward refinancing other debt did not yield results by Tuesday.

Any possible agreement could include a loan to Sirius, or paying off its debt, or assuming the debt obligations. On Friday, the New York Post reported on its Web site that Liberty had offered a bridge loan of several hundred million dollars to help pay off the debt maturing Tuesday.

The newspaper, citing a source close to the situation, said Liberty would provide Sirius CEO Mel Karmazin with enough cash to repay the $175 million in debt. That gives Liberty three months to come up with a plan to help restructure roughly $600 million in Sirius XM debt coming due in May and December.

Another person familiar with the talks told Reuters both EchoStar and Liberty Media were continuing intense discussions with Sirius XM.

The talks with EchoStar are more of a hostile nature while Liberty's talks are cooperative with Sirius management, but the outcome remained uncertain, the sources said.

Liberty and EchoStar declined to comment. Sirius did not return calls for comment on Friday.

Full story

Sirius could file bankruptcy as early as Tuesday By DEBORAH YAO

Sirius could file bankruptcy as early as Tuesday By DEBORAH YAO


Financially strapped Sirius XM Radio Inc. (SIRI) (SIRI) said Friday that it could file for bankruptcy as early as Tuesday if it cannot successfully negotiate with the holders of its debt.

While the satellite radio company said it has exchanged $172.5 million of debt maturing in December for new debt due in 2011, it still has about $175 million coming due this Sunday.

Sirius is fighting against attempts for control by Charlie Ergen, the chief executive of Dish Network Corp. (DISH) and sister company EchoStar Corp. (SATS) Ergen bought much of a $300 million batch of discounted Sirius bonds that come due next week. Sirius had rejected a previous offer by Ergen for control of the company.

A bankruptcy filing for Sirius would give it the right to terminate contracts with on-air talent, such as Martha Stewart and Howard Stern, who has a five-year, $500 million deal. A Chapter 11 filing also could crimp Sirius' growth because subscribers might shy away from a company in bankruptcy. Sirius has nearly 20 million listeners and provides a wide range of music, sports and talk radio.



Full story

Does Anyone Care Anymore?

by I. Humphrey

It's been a while since I've written to this blog. I wondered why I was having such a hard time getting motivated. Then I realized it's because The Stern Show has been lacking in motivation. Perhaps it's due to Howard's metamorphosis into the ultimate anti-motivational speaker. 

Stern's favorite exit line, "What else Robin?" is constantly quoted by fans as indicative of Howard's malaise. Some revolution.

Remember when us Stern Fans cared about all the feuds, and carrying on between Stern Show Staffers? We were totally invested in Grillo and Gange's refusal to leave Stuttering John's sublet apartment, Howard's basement fish tank, and hi-tech toys fascinated us, the saga that was Fred's marriage was our favorite soap opera, and more. In short Howard cared, and so did we.

Contrast this with the Stern Show of today. Despite how much Howard, Robin, and Gary try to force the issue, we really don't care about the saga of Artie the Junkie. Everything on the show has to be over-hyped because it's uninspired. 

I for one refuse to throw good money after bad by subscribing to Stern on Demand. Too much of a good thing is not necessarily a good thing. And from my vantage point terrestrial radio is looking mighty tasty. What does it say when the most popular, such as it is, episodes of Stern on Demand are not episodes of The Stern Show, but Sal's Show in The Hallway? -- not that I've seen either.

The State of the State of the Stern Show mirrors the sorry state of our country -- broke, over-extended, and dreaming of the glory days of yesteryear. Will Artie show up? How can we make fun of Gary? Who will be the one-thousandth whore to ride the Sybian? When will Richard and Sal whip out their junk? When will we get to hear another awful Ashley Madison or Cash for Gold commercial? 

If Howard could turn a profit turning his fans into heroin-mainlining junkies he wouldn't hesitate for a second. Is it really surprising that legions of Stern Fans have stopped caring about Howard, when it's more obvious with each passing show that Howard has stopped caring about us? Or did he ever care? Maybe we're just extras in Howard's megalomaniacal autobiography.

For Howard Shrine Spews and Views, this is I. Humphrey saying, "Those were the days beyaaatch!"

Charlie Ergen seeks control of Sirius XM


The Wall Street Journal reports (subscription) that Sirius XM chief Mel Karmazin is "scrambling to raise about $175 million" to fend off a takeover threat from Charlie Ergen's EchoStar Corp.

Ergen, ranked by Forbes as the #35 richest man in America (net worth $8.1 billion), has been buying up Sirius XM's debt, to the tune of $400 million, since late summer, the Journal reports:




Full story

Howard TV On Demand Premieres Killers of Comedy On the Road



Photo courtesy: CleanBox Entertainment. Left to right; Shuli, Beetlejuice, Rev. Bob Levy



Howard Stern’s Howard TV On Demand presents a brand new series that peeks behind the scenes to life on the road with a group of Howard Stern comedians and assorted “Wack Packers” as they travel the country performing for equally wild fans. Killers of Comedy On the Road is an exclusive new Howard TV six-part series featuring a wild line-up of dysfunctional comedians and the promoter who tries to wrangle them as they tour Los Angeles, Seattle, Portland, Tempe, St. Louis and Indianapolis. Featuring Rev. Bob Levy, Jim Florentine, Shuli, Yucko the Clown, Sal The Stockbroker, The Iron Sheik and Beetlejuice. The show is a litany of assorted dramas, including all the backstage antics, stresses, last-minute craziness, missing talent, dirty jokes, not enough seats, tattoos, unruly hecklers, broken teeth, crew meltdowns, cursing, partying, and general over-the-top high jinks that only this bunch could generate.



The series is produced by CleanBox Entertainment and Third Floor Films; created by Sequoia Slentz and John Bovenizer; produced by Michael Maccarone and Tom Ragazzo. Doug Z. Goodstein is the Executive Producer and for Howard TV On Demand.



New episodes premiere every Thursday. The series will be available only on Howard TV On Demand until April 25, 2009. Howard TV On Demand is available on all major cable systems nationwide. Check out www.HowardTV.com. To add a link or embed our short video clip, go to: http://www.howard.tv/?videoId=155.

Howard Stern could disappear

Desperate times for Sirius XM

After sticking with Sirius XM (SIRI) through ups and downs, and downs, and more downs, shareholders are finally ditching the company in droves.

The stock fell by more than half Wednesday to just 6 cents a share, and there's a good reason why: The company has two options at this point, and both leave shareholders with nothing.

Customers, at least, shouldn't see interruptions in service. But prices could go up. And big names like Howard Stern could disappear as the company overhauls its contracts.



full story

Brian McNamee Weighs in on Fallout from the Steroid Scandal



Photo courtesy: Howard TV

Brian McNamee, former personal trainer to baseball’s Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte and Chuck Knoblauch, made a rare media appearance today on the Howard Stern Show for a one-hour interview, which can only be seen on Howard TV On Demand. But the interview may have been more than he bargained for; the trainer-turned-government informant had to endure endless prying by Stern into his personal life and situation with Clemens. McNamee said he figured that if he could handle testifying before Congress on giving Clemens performance-enhancing drugs, he thought he could handle Stern.



Stern grilled him on his former life as a cop; why he saved the needles and exactly where he kept them; if he was forced to testify; and why he didn’t lie to federal agents. Stern asked for specific details about how and where he injected Clemens’ wife. He asked about Clemens’ ass; about gay baseball players and if he had any revelations about well-endowed baseball players. The two also talked about how much jail time McNamee would have gotten if he had not testified; about what kind of player Roger Clemens would have been without steroids and of course Stern asked him about the recent revelation about Alex “A-Rod” Rodriguez. Stern said it must be very hard to turn someone in and asked if he sleeps at night. McNamee said, “I’m golden. I just told the truth.”



The entire interview can be seen beginning tomorrow, Tuesday, February 10 on the Howard TV On Demand and will be available for three weeks. For more information or to upload or link to a short clip, go to http://pressoffice.howardtv.com

In Sirius Trouble

Nearly two years to the day after announcing a plan to merge, Sirius XM Satellite Radio is plunging headlong into bankruptcy, The Post has learned.

Two sources familiar with the situation said Sirius XM is favoring a Chapter 11 filing over a deal with satellite-TV operator EchoStar, whose CEO, Charlie Ergen, has been buying up Sirius XM debt in a bid to take control of the company.

Sirius XM is working with restructuring firm Alvarez & Marsal and law firm Simpson, Thatcher & Bartlett on the potential bankruptcy filing. Investment bank Evercore Partners is also providing advice.

A spokesman for Sirius XM declined to comment.

Full article

Watch Johnny Knoxville break penis

here

Howardshrine.com presents where are they now: Billy West





Signing autographs for ten dollars in a small hotel in Florida
Source:
http://www.sternfannetwork.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=428548&perpage=15&pagenumber=2

Who's right? Gary or Artie?


The Super Fans at SFN overwhelming feel that Gary was right in this mornings argument. Too bad Artie. You still got a long way to go to becoming a real man.

Source:

http://www.sternfannetwork.com/forum/showthread.php?s=c2ab9095e2976afc983badb8b99b3c0f&postid=15114779#post15114779

Interview with Jackie Martling by Heeb Magazine


For 15 years Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling held the honorable title of Head Writer on The Howard Stern Show. From creating bits to writing quick comebacks for Howard to providing uncontrollable laughter, the Long Island-native left his unmistakable scent on the Show. (Some say it smelled like a baby’s diaper, but that’s an argument for another day.)


In March 2001, however, Martling left Stern after a contract squabble and was replaced with Artie Lange. (Lange has since become more of a Stern sidekick, while Benjy Bronk, who we interviewed here, has assumed much of Martling’s writing responsibilities.)



Since leaving the show, Martling has been making a living on the road and in bit movie parts in which he manages to exploit his encyclopedic arsenal of one-liners. Recently, he managed to put aside some time to talk to Heeb.



So what have you been up to lately, Jackie?

What a week I had. I was doing fine until I went to the proctologist on Friday. I think he was tripping on acid. He looked up my ass with a kaleidoscope… That’s my newest joke. I love it.



You know, I was the first lower-echelon comedian to have his own self-produced LP, What Did You Expect?, way back in 1979. Now I’m the last comedian to have a DVD, A Safe Distance from Genius). My sixth dirty joke CD, Snart, will be out on April Fool’s Day.



How’s the standup circuit treating you?

I work here, there, and everywhere from Atlantic City to small clubs. I love telling my jokes and especially love playing ‘Stump the Joke Man.’ It never gets old.



Have you run across anyone recently that you think should be on the radar for the comedy hall of fame, or do you think everyone sucks a fat one these days?
I headline my own shows, and there’s usually no one else on the bill. I don’t even like to have an opening act. I like to stretch out for 80 to 90 minutes. Because of that, I don’t get to see many acts. But, fuck it, let them all into the hall of fame. But what hall of fame? I’m still trying to get an honorable mention on Jews-R-Us.

Full Interview

LIGHTER ROBIN QUIVER'S A HOT DATE

February 4, 2009 --


THERE'S a lot less of Robin Quivers to love these days. Howard Stern's buxom sidekick - who couldn't walk up a flight of stairs 18 months ago because she was so heavy - has dropped a whopping 90 pounds using "21 Pounds in 21 Days: The Martha's Vineyard Diet Detox" by Roni DeLuz and James Hester. Last month, she spent weekends in South Beach "walking over five miles a day on the beach and covering her body from head to toe in mud to remove toxins from her body," a source tells us. She finished up her regimen this past weekend at DeLuz's Holistic Retreat on Martha's Vineyard. "Robin was doing a coffee enema while glued to the TV watching the Australian Open," the source said. "She did a proper detox by not chewing for 21 days and letting the toxins move out of her body. She not only looks hot, thin and beautiful, she has more energy and young guys are texting her for dates."

source

RICK'S GIRLS ARE SUPER!

We tried to watch the Super Bowl, but the distractions at Rick's Cabaret New York
(50 W. 33 St.) were impossible to resist. The Steelers won the game and Portia and Kellie definitely have game.


ricks.com




photos: Portia and Kellie from Super Bowl Sunday


Alicia on couch