Howard Stern fooled

A reportedly doctored recording of Beyonce Knowles sounding out of tune at a "Today Show" appearance last year, which shock-jock Howard Stern played on his Sirius radio show on Wednesday, is a fake, according to a man who told TMZ he made it.

"It's a little bit crazy. No one in their right mind would sound like that, and no one would cheer for someone singing like that," the unnamed alleged audio-perp told TMZ Wednesday afternoon.

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Unique New Concept is a “Take Off” on the Traditional Bar Game - Featuring Mixed Doubles Teams With Rick’s Cabaret Dancers who Show Surprising Competitive Lust

New York, April 22 - Howard Stern is known as a game-changer. Once again, the media icon is pushing the envelope, this time with a twist on a favorite American bar game: Strip Beer Pong. The exclusive new three-part series, created by Stern’s Howard TV On Demand channel, will premiere on Thursday, April 23. The series is hosted by Shuli, a comedian and reporter at Howard 100 News on Sirius XM Radio. In this Howard TV version of a Beer Pong Tournament, Howard Stern Show staff members are paired in teams with adorable dancers from Rick’s Cabaret, who disrobe piece by piece as (or IF) the opposing team scores points.

Over the past few years, Beer Pong has certainly grown in popularity around the country, spawning a National League, online versions, an official website, official Beer Pong tables, numerous blogs and celebrity players. Howard TV’s Strip Beer Pong is an eight-team, single elimination tournament where the winning team receives a cash prize and a one of a kind HTV Strip Beer Pong Trophy. In Strip Beer Pong, official Beer Pong rules apply, except for one crucial detail; three of each team’s cups are pink and dubbed “Strip Cups.”

According to Howard TV executive producer, Doug Z. Goodstein, "We had to find a sport where competitors who lack any athletic ability; a nerdy mumbler, an old man and gorgeous girls could all compete on a level playing field. Howard TV On Demand's Strip Beer Pong fit the bill. It capitalizes on the increasing popularity of Beer Pong but with the added spice that only Howard TV could add. We hope it catches on!”

The competition heats up as the eight teams vie for the trophy. Each team consists of a staff member from the Howard Stern Show – some with questionable sporting ability – and a Rick’s Cabaret dancer, some of whom show enviable athletic prowess. The tournament is accompanied by weighty and serious whispered play-by-play commentators (much like the top golf announcers), actually Host Shuli and some of the players who join him in the broadcast booth, to call opponent’s matches.

Each Howard TV Strip Beer Pong team includes a Howard Stern Show staff member paired with a Rick’s Cabaret stripper as follows:

Jason Kaplan/Rosy (Jason: radio show Segment Producer)

Scott “The Engineer” Salem/Sky (Scott: radio show engineer)

Will Murray/Becky (Will: radio show Segment Producer)

Ronnie “The Limo Driver” Mund/Avalon (Ronnie: Howard's long time limo driver and body guard)

Ralph Cirella/Randi (Ralph: Howard's personal stylist)

Tracey Millman/Mark (Tracey: radio show office manager. As the lone woman staffer, Tracey “requested” to be paired with a male model.)

Steve Brandano/Darien (Steve: radio show associate producer & host of "The Intern Show" that airs on Howard's radio channel)

J.D. Harmeyer/Beverly (J.D.: radio show Media Producer)

As an added attraction for fans, has developed a fun, interactive “Virtual Strip Beer Pong Game.” Anyone can log on and play without ever getting a hangover.

Strip Beer Pong is the next chapter of Howard TV’s off beat sports shows. The first one was Bowling Beauties in which bikini-clad ladies competed in high-heeled bowling shoes. It received much acclaim when it premiered in May, 2008.

HOW TO PLAY: Each side of the beer pong table has 10 cups filled (about one-third of the way) with beer and arranged in a triangular form, like bowling pins. If Team A successfully makes a shot (by throwing a ping pong ball) into Team B’s cup, then a member from Team B must drink from that cup. However, Howard TV has added a special twist to the traditional beer pong game: three of each team’s cups are pink “Strip Cups.” If Team A sinks a shot into Team B’s “Strip Cup,” then Team B’s stripper must remove an item of clothing. If one team hits all three “Strip Cups,” the result is the other team’s stripper getting topless. The first team to clear all 10 of their opponent’s cups wins. The losing team is eliminated.

Executive Producer for Strip Beer Pong is Doug Z. Goodstein. Supervising Producer is Mike Gange. Director is Scott DePace. Series Producer is Lee Gerowitz. The series will be available on Howard TV On Demand until the end of May, 2009.

From the Bleeding Deacons: Blue Iris is blue

Blue Iris had a heart attack and is now on life support. From what I
understand they will be taking her off of life support tommorow.

Blue Iris has been a good friend to the band. She appeared in our video for
"Artie enjoys the Bleeding Deacons" and also had inroduced us at our show.
She always had a good time and made everybody laugh. We are going to miss
her. I attached a voice mail she left me the day after she introduced us at
The Whisky to give you an idea of what a sweet funny lady she has been in
case you don't know her.

I added the video of her with us at The Whisky on our video page also


Les Moonves Loves Julie Chen More Than Howard Stern Loves Beth Ostrosky!

by I. Humphrey ( )

Back in 2006 Howard and Les Moonves were feuding worse than the Hatfields and McCoys. Les sued Howard for a cool 500-million, and Howard countered by calling Les a snake, and demanding the return of his broadcast tapes. You have to admit, nothing's funnier than watching two narcissistic, megamaniac, eccentric, old, past-their-prime, multi-millionaires square-off. As Howard has said, "I could listen to this all day."

Well, say what you will about Les Moonves, at least he loves his wife Julie more than Howard loves Beth. As everyone knows, when you love someone you want to see them happy. And if that happiness involves sacrificing something that's important to you, then you man-up and do it. That's love, that's never having to say you're sorry. However, Howard won't do it, to Beth at least, as in get her with child, soak her thirsty ovaries with his man-seed. Hey, who knows, maybe Howard could finally be rewarded with a male child, or more likely he's only shooting saw dust. Perhaps the real reason Howard won't have another child is because he can't.

I mean if Howard won't go bareback for love of Beth, at least he could do it for love of himself as expressed by tossing a bone to his loyal fans. Here's how I see it. The fans are fucking goddamn tired of hearing about Beth's child-substitute dog Bianca, and her North Shore Animal League bullshit, hobby-charity. This phoney happy-talk makes us all cringe. It's so transparent. The fans are even more disgusted with being asked for money to support this crap. I mean, fer shizzel, can't billionaire sugar-daddy Stern whip out a check and save us all the gayifying of the show when it metamorphosizes into a fund drive episode of The View? We're sick I tell you, sick.

Today Howard said he doesn't want to be like Imus, and have to chase around a child all day. He doesn't have the energy for this anymore. Niggah please! First off,  as everyone knows, especially Hank (fancy way of saying Henry), Howard is already like Imus. Secondly, billionaires don't have to chase their offspring around. that's what illegal immigration is for. Comprende Esse? 

The following may be cold, but it's true. Howard still owes the world a few more years of fatherhood for having left "to buy a pack of cigarettes" when his third daughter Ashley was little. Furthermore, if Howard's pre-divorce schedule involved leaving his Old Westbury mansion at 4 am, coming home for dinner, and bedtime by 8 pm, then how did he find time to be a hands-on father?

I think I've made my case. 

For Howard Shrine Spews and Views this is I. Humphrey saying, Beth'O take the money and run before you're eggs are all dried up, beyaaaatch!"

Here's a video of Beth Ostrosky being more annoying than Sally Struthers. I bet Beth Ostrosky would look just like Sally Struthers if she were preggers:

What is most disturbing about this video is learning that Beth hates Asians. You'd think someone who wants to have a child would support youth in Asia, and not be against it. Sad, really sad. Just because Asians eat dogs is no reason to take it out on their children. Well, at least she doesn't have to worry about alienating Howard's non existent Asian audience. 

Gaijin Howard Stern and Gwai-loh Beth Ostrosky-Stern better be on their guard the next time they dine at Asian restaurant Nobu lest they're served bulldog-negimaki. Word!

Don't Touch Me -- Howard Stern's life in self-imposed exile.

by I. Humphrey

So dig it fellow Sternaholics, The Howard Stern Show sucked me in again. My bad.  This morning's topic: a grade-school principal in Arizona who mandated a strict no-touch policy. What's a no touch policy? Glad you asked, here are a few parameters: no high-fives -- air fives, no hugs -- air hugs, no game of tag -- shadow-tag. In short, it's an unnatural, inhumane, sanitized existence that takes all the magic out of childhood, and makes it impossible for people to develop communication skills that go beyond mere words.

Is it any wonder that a social-inept like Howard Stern would view the no-touch policy as a godsend, and the epitome of civilization? Nah. However, what Howard won't own up to is the reason why this appeals to him. Howard is socially-retarded, and unable to comfortably relate to others. He keeps people at a distance, won't shake hands, carries anti-bacterial wipes, hates when someone looks at him, and then complains when he's left alone. He wants to be famous, yet bitches if someone merely takes his photo. The contradictions are as endless, as they are pathetic.

The true reason Howard loves the sad no-touchy policy is because he wants to be the proverbial Waldo in a sea of Waldos. He wants to live in a world where he won't stand out due to the fact that everyone will be as anti-social, and uncomfortable in their own skins as himself. As they say in France, Quelle domage - what a pity.

Seriously, I wish for once, Howard would be hip to himself. If party-pooper Stern wants to be a hermit, he should go lock himself up in his Hampton's Mansion and live like those crazy, reclusive Bouvier cousins did back in the 1970's in their Hampton's Grey Gardens hovel with a house full of feral felines. As for the rest of us well-adjusted people, we can play dodge ball, high-five, hug, hustle butt, and live a real life.

I'm sure enquiring minds would love to know what the no-touch principal's sex life is like. Talk about separate beds, how about separate states? I'm sure Beth O could provide some revealing insights on this topic, that is if she can spare the time from her duties tape recording Howard's loud snoring. In fact, I heard Howard gargles with breath freshener after sex, and he called Tom Chiusano a robot, indeed.

Or course a contributing factor to Howard's faygola-itis/anti-social personality could be his mother's raising him like a veal/hot-house flower who is more at ease with girls than with men. He truly is one of the girls. Rae Stern said so, and all the good ladies of Hadassah agree with her. Did you know that when the North Shore Animal League yentas meet at Howard's Manhattan luxury condo he personally serves them root beer floats with Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Pirouette straws? True that. Cough-faygot-cough. I feel sad for Ben Stern, he always wanted to have a son -- you know, someone who could engage in serious conversations about world affairs, someone with a deep baritone announcer's voice, someone he could go the race track with, bet on the horses, and throw back a few stiff Rob-Roy drinks with. What a let down, Howard couldn't even give his dad a grandson. Pussy, pussy, pussy!

For Howard Shrine Spews and Views, this is I. Humphrey saying, "Can't touch this, beyaaaatch."

The Greg Fitzsimmons Show is back LIVE Monday

The show will be on prime time again, and Joe Rogan confirmed this week. PERFECT guest for 4/20! Monday @ 4pm PST / 7pm EST ~ Howard 101.


Song Parody helps fight cancer

Bleeding Deacons:

The New Video for "We Love Robins Double D's" is now online

The single just became available on Itunes with the proceeds going to the
National Breast Cancer Foundation

Hey Now Jeremy the Cable Guy!!

I canceled my Howard TV today and the dude from Comcast who handled my call told me he was a huge Stern fan...or so he says. He said he remembers hearing something about the Shrine but didn't know the address. What kind of True fan of Stern doesn't have in their favorites, huh? HAHA Just kidding Jeremy. We are one of the Show's dirtiest secrets apparently. Welcome and thanks for helping me out today. Take a look around and let me know what you think.

Jeremy says he has both Sirius and Howard TV, and listens and watches everyday so I don't have any room to talk. Today was also the day I got a call from Sirius, my darn subscription expired on the first. I didn't renew. You think Sal got troubles? His shit is mild compared to what life is throwing me right now. Life in small town America is getting tougher. Time to make some sacrifices, tighten the belt, suck it up, and become a crook. Been promoting the Show for years, got the Howard TV banners flying, you'd think some higher up could, no offense Jeremy, hook a nigga up!!

Well, I guess I will see if my Howard TV is still on tonight and watch a few more episodes before they pull the plug. Got the last three radio shows on my MP3 player so maybe I can catch up some this holiday weekend of ham, and colored eggs, and jelly beans, and chocolate bunnies. Oh Yeah, I loves those chocolate bunnies. You know what am talkin bout Jeremy. Hey now!!

From what I have been able to hear the Stern Show is still the best thing going.

Have a Great Easter Stern Fans and Happy Passover to those other ones too !!

Apple to kill Sirius XM this summer.

Well, that's the rumor anyway.


Satellite radio will die soon anyway, but Apple will accidentally perform a mercy killing of Sirius XM Radio this summer. That is, if the rumors are true (and they probably are).

The first rumor is that Apple will ship in June or July a new iPhone and a new iPod Touch, both of which containing a new Broadcom BCM4329 chip that would give the gadgets 802.11n wireless. That would boost Wi-Fi, but even more interestingly enable the devices to broadcast music to any car stereo via FM. (Users simply set their car radios to the "station" that the iPhone or iPod is broadcasting on, and they can play over car speakers whatever the iPhone is playing. The feature would enable only buyers of new iPhones and new iPod touches to play audio in any car with an FM radio.

The second rumor is that both devices will get stereo Bluetooth audio streaming. That would enable anyone with a car sound system that supports Bluetooth to play iPhone and iPod Touch audio wirelessly. Although using this feature would require the right kind of car stereo, it would not require a new iPhone or iPod Touch — current devices will be able to take advantage of it.

It's likely that both of these rumors are true. If so, just about every iPhone and iPod Touch user will be able to easily play music, podcasts, streaming audio and other noise directly but wirelessly from their gadgets.

One of the most popular (and fastest growing) application types on iPhones is Pandora and its ilk, including iheart radio, Public Radio and other streaming services. People are getting used to the idea of listening to exactly what they want to hear at any time on their phones.

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Howard Stern: Knicks Courtside Celeb

The NY Knicks had a huge influx of celebrity courtside appearances this March!!! A few celebs to make it out were the cast members of Law and Order, Chloe Sevigny, Howard Stern, and more!!! See all 23 celebrities cheering for their favorite basketball team here

With Friends Like Howard Stern, Who Needs Enemies?

by I. Humphrey

On April 1st Howard ordered Sal to end his friendship with some guy named Ian, because in Howard's eyes, Ian isn't a good friend. Ian had committed the unpardonable sin of texting Sal that he was being unfavorably discussed on-air when he was out sick.

Here's a brief summary from "Howard said that friends don't rile you up when you're home trying to get over being sick. He told him not to let his friends get him down like that. He told Sal to tell Ian to lose his number and stop texting him. Howard told him to tell Ian to fuck off. He should act like a man."

Evidently, Howard believes telling someone they're being talked about is not the act of a friend. Sure, I bet Howard's never done that. Speaking of which, I wonder what Howard would tell Sal if one of his friends told him to shoot a load on a coworker's back for the sake of a radio bit. Oh, wait, that friend was Howard. And the bit in question involves having Sal jerking off on Richard's back as a bribe of sorts to get Howard to book Seth McFarlane on The Howard Stern Show as a guest. 

This is a new low, even for Howard Stern. Not only does this hurt Sal and Richard, it also damages their families, especially Sal's three boys. Howard Stern is a pathetic hypocrite for berating others for mistreating their pets, while at the same time treating everyone around him like dirt.

Seriously, just when we thought Howard's penchant for sadistic acts of humiliation couldn't get any worse, they do. Howard calls himself Sal's friend. Right! Well, with friends like Howard, who needs enemies? 

Howard Stern is a miserable shadow of a human being. He will be remembered most notably not for his radio skills, but for his skill at making others miserable too.

For Howardshrine Spews & Views, this is I. Humphrey saying, "Is this a way to treat a friend, beyaatch?"

P.S. Lets not forget the time Howard was a no-show at Gary's father's wake. Pure and simple, Howard friendship is worthless.

Berth O Stern on America's Top Model

Howard's phone talk infomercial???

Palm tries to recruit Howard Stern to shill ‘Pre’
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 - 05:50 PM EDT
Palm is trying "to recruit one of the biggest mouths out there: Howard Stern," Larry Dignan reports for ZDNet.

MacDailyNews Take: Howard's mouth is still just as large, but his volume has decreased drastically from his terrestrial radio days. The fact is, he's dropped off the cultural radar since his move to Sirius. Leave it to Palm to chase a mouthpiece without a mass audience just as they've promised to abandon their buyout bait on a failing carrier (Sprint) that's lost about as many subscribers as the amount of listeners Stern shed in his move to satellite radio.

Dignan continues, "Stern is in the market for a phone and has been a loyal Treo user. He still has a Treo, but is embarrassed to show it given the technology is so old. In other words, Stern is the perfect Palm customer. He’s been fiercely loyal, but has nothing new to get excited about until now... In a nutshell, Stern is very publicly auditioning phones. He’s trying a BlackBerry, but has ruled out the iPhone due to a lack of a keyboard."

MacDailyNews Take: Luddites who cling to their plastic chicklets all have one thing in common: They've never really used an iPhone. Howard, in about a week, you'd be typing faster with an iPhone than on any tiny plastic keyboard ever made.

Dignan continues, "Palm is getting Stern a demo Pre delivered to his home with a hands-on tutorial and then taking the top secret device away. 'They’re going to show me the Pre and then take it away. They’re trying to build excitement for this thing. If people don’t buy this I don’t see how Palm keeps going,' said Stern."

Full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: So, they're going to demo their iPhone knock-off to someone who's never used an iPhone. It's highly likely that he'll be wowed. It's like showing Windows to someone who's never used a Mac; ooh, isn't Microsoft oh-so-innovative! Stern will then go on his show and tell everyone how "amazing" this "Pre" thing is and everyone with an iPhone will laugh. Hopefully, some will call in to tell him he sounds like an idiot.

All that said, as longtime readers know, we love Howard Stern.

And, hey, yet another demo, Palm? Doesn't that thing work well enough to put into users' hands, yet?


King of Cable makes comeback call

Hey Now,

I pranked Cable Fox News Shortly after 1pm today posing as Andrew Block the director of communications for Mayor of Binghmaton during the shooting incident This call was on the cable Fox News that went around the world. Apparently Geraldo Rivera did not find it as amusing as me.

King of Cable

Watch call here