Back in 2006 Howard and Les Moonves were feuding worse than the Hatfields and McCoys. Les sued Howard for a cool 500-million, and Howard countered by calling Les a snake, and demanding the return of his broadcast tapes. You have to admit, nothing's funnier than watching two narcissistic, megamaniac, eccentric, old, past-their-prime, multi-millionaires square-off. As Howard has said, "I could listen to this all day."
Well, say what you will about Les Moonves, at least he loves his wife Julie more than Howard loves Beth. As everyone knows, when you love someone you want to see them happy. And if that happiness involves sacrificing something that's important to you, then you man-up and do it. That's love, that's never having to say you're sorry. However, Howard won't do it, to Beth at least, as in get her with child, soak her thirsty ovaries with his man-seed. Hey, who knows, maybe Howard could finally be rewarded with a male child, or more likely he's only shooting saw dust. Perhaps the real reason Howard won't have another child is because he can't.
I mean if Howard won't go bareback for love of Beth, at least he could do it for love of himself as expressed by tossing a bone to his loyal fans. Here's how I see it. The fans are fucking goddamn tired of hearing about Beth's child-substitute dog Bianca, and her North Shore Animal League bullshit, hobby-charity. This phoney happy-talk makes us all cringe. It's so transparent. The fans are even more disgusted with being asked for money to support this crap. I mean, fer shizzel, can't billionaire sugar-daddy Stern whip out a check and save us all the gayifying of the show when it metamorphosizes into a fund drive episode of The View? We're sick I tell you, sick.
Today Howard said he doesn't want to be like Imus, and have to chase around a child all day. He doesn't have the energy for this anymore. Niggah please! First off, as everyone knows, especially Hank (fancy way of saying Henry), Howard is already like Imus. Secondly, billionaires don't have to chase their offspring around. that's what illegal immigration is for. Comprende Esse?
The following may be cold, but it's true. Howard still owes the world a few more years of fatherhood for having left "to buy a pack of cigarettes" when his third daughter Ashley was little. Furthermore, if Howard's pre-divorce schedule involved leaving his Old Westbury mansion at 4 am, coming home for dinner, and bedtime by 8 pm, then how did he find time to be a hands-on father?
I think I've made my case.
For Howard Shrine Spews and Views this is I. Humphrey saying, Beth'O take the money and run before you're eggs are all dried up, beyaaaatch!"
Here's a video of Beth Ostrosky being more annoying than Sally Struthers. I bet Beth Ostrosky would look just like Sally Struthers if she were preggers:
What is most disturbing about this video is learning that Beth hates Asians. You'd think someone who wants to have a child would support youth in Asia, and not be against it. Sad, really sad. Just because Asians eat dogs is no reason to take it out on their children. Well, at least she doesn't have to worry about alienating Howard's non existent Asian audience.
Gaijin Howard Stern and Gwai-loh Beth Ostrosky-Stern better be on their guard the next time they dine at Asian restaurant Nobu lest they're served bulldog-negimaki. Word!
