Audition to play Howard Stern now open

Contact Chaunce Hayden at for details.


Script-tease from guys who know the Scores
Sunday, December 28th 2008, 4:32 AM

Who’d want to see a movie about strippers, movie stars, the mob, pro athletes, drugs and a murder?

Just about everybody, writer Chaunce Hayden and childhood pal Tony Lombardi are betting.

The two have done a screenplay based on their inside story of Scores, the shuttered East Side strip club where Lombardi was the manager and Hayden wrote a regular column about the nocturnal naughtiness. Together, they saw it all.

“George Clooney would come for three, four nights in a row,” Hayden tells us. “When he was in town, he’d never not come in” for a night of cocktails and pulchritude on parade.

Charlie Sheen took such a liking to a stripper named Charity that he decided charity begins at home. He brought her back to his apartment — for several weeks, Hayden claims. “But then she revealed to me some things he kept in his top drawer and he had his bodyguard throw her out.”

Jason Priestley was tossed out of the club for doing extracurricular activities with a woman he brought into the men’s room. Guess you have to draw the line somewhere.

“Madonna would come in and always sit at the same table right up under the stage, to get a closeup look at the dancers,” Hayden recalls. “She wasn’t shy about getting several lap dances a night.”
She wasn’t the only woman customer. “Tori Spelling would come in and puff on a cigar while getting lap dances,” Hayden claims. “... and be the last to leave at 4 a.m.

“Sandra Bernhard would always come in with a posse of ... models. One night while she was three months pregnant, she got up and stripped down to just her panties.”

Hayden sat next to Vanna White at the mammary mecca one night, and on another night, Debbie Matenopoulos brought in her boyfriend for his birthday. “He ended up hooking up with one of the dancers.”

The free-flowing booze fueled a lot of misbehavior, like the night Mickey Rourke had to stop Chuck Zito from beating to a pulp fellow actor Jean-Claude Van Damme just for saying he had “no heart.”

Hayden tells us Dennis Rodman, in full drag and liquored up as he made out with stripper fiancée Stacy Yarbrough before a game, got fired by coach Phil Jackson the next day.

“There was so much cash on the books, off the books, around the books,” Hayden says of the club, soon to be replaced by Sapphire East. “Nineteen-year-old girls would fly in from Seattle or Nebraska to strip over a weekend and make $10,000. Their friends and families would have no idea.”

Full Story

Shrine blog sort of mentioned in New York Times

DID you hear what Howard Stern said the other day? Neither did we. But we read about it on a blog.

James Estrin/The New York Times
Mel Karmazin, chief of Sirius XM, says it competes with technology — digital music players, Internet radio via iPhone — rather than other companies.

Mr. Stern, the ribald radio jock who once commanded attention with each off-color utterance and obscene joke, mused recently on the air that he was thinking of retiring when his contract expires in two years. “This is my swan song,” he said.

Back in the day when Mr. Stern was on free radio and had an audience of 12 million, that remark would have cascaded through the media universe. But by switching to satellite radio three years ago, Mr. Stern swapped cultural cachet for big money.

Then — poof! — Mr. Stern all but disappeared. Even Jay Leno, during a recent interview with The New York Times about his decision to stay at NBC to host a prime-time show, cited Mr. Stern as an example of the dangers of obscurity.

“On radio, Howard to me was a populist. The truck driver, the average guy would listen in the cafe, the truck, the old car that’s 50 years old and still has an AM radio,” said Mr. Leno in the interview. “But I don’t hear him quoted anymore. People don’t say: ‘Hey, did you hear what Howard said today?’ ”

Yet Mr. Stern’s retirement chatter did get one group talking: investors fretting over the fate of Sirius XM Radio, the satellite radio company that has been Mr. Stern’s home for the past three years.

Today, five months after regulators approved a merger of Sirius and XM, satellite radio’s pioneers and former rivals, in a deal that was supposed to deliver their industry to the promised land of profits and permanence, the company faces an uncertain future.

Although Mr. Stern brought listeners and prominence to Sirius, the move had a steep cost. His blockbuster, $500 million, five-year deal fueled a high-stakes competition between the two services that contributed to Sirius XM’s current bind.

Unlike free radio, which depends on advertising, satellite radio offers nearly commercial-free music and talk for a subscription fee. It’s akin to the difference between broadcast TV and premium cable, between NBC and HBO.

Even though Sirius XM is one of the very few media companies whose revenue and number of subscribers are growing these days, a dime and a nickel will get you a share of the company’s stock (with some change left over).


Thanks to Roger_Paw, one of the hot chicks at for the info.



Highlights Of Jam-Packed January Include Premiere Of Creative New Programming; “Show In The Hallway” Series and “Artie’s Wild 2008” Special

New York, December 22— The New Year’s resolution from the staff at Howard Stern’s Howard TV On Demand is to keep Howard TV as the best and only place to see hysterical and original programming from Stern and his gang of wacky sidekicks. So they will pop the cork on the New Year with several newly created specials, outrageous comedies, shocking celebrity interviews and unabashed sexiness. They will keep providing the only televised access to the daily “Howard Stern Show” radio program and scour the vaults for fan-favorite encores.

New programming for January 2009 includes Show in the Hallway, an all-original dramedy featuring celebrity guests and the cast and crew of the “Howard Stern Show;” Artie’s Wild 2008; Howard TV’s Sexiest Moments 2008; Howard TV’s Most Outrageous 2008 and Howard TV’s Shocking Celebrity Moments 2008.

“Our subscribers are requesting more original programming that is not available on the radio show,” said Doug Z. Goodstein, Executive Producer for Howard TV On Demand. “And to that, we say we hear you! Fans of Howard TV get to see their favorite cast members in wild, funny and all-exclusive new shows.”

Here’s a look at the original programming starting to air on Howard TV On Demand in January 2009:

● Show in the Hallway: An all-original dramedy featuring fictional stories by “Howard Stern Show” staff members playing themselves, plus celebrity guest stars including Howard’s wife Beth Stern, comedienne Lisa Lampanelli and John Stamos. Entertaining plot lines with surprise endings are inspired by real on-air and behind-the-scenes events and the eccentric personalities that make up the Howard Stern cast of characters. Episode stars include Stern regulars Gary Dell’Abate, Sal Governale, Richard Christy, JD Harmeyer, Ronnie “The Limo Driver” Mund and others. New episodes: Jan 1, 15, 22.

● Artie’s Wild 2008: Artie Lange has had high points, low points and hilarious moments that will be revisited in this special, including his on-air fight with his assistant; on-air resignation and falling asleep during the show. Of course, beautiful, sometimes naked women will feature prominently and celebrities will weigh in on Artie’s hi-jinks. Hosted by Lisa Lampanelli. Premieres Jan. 6.

● Howard TV’s Sexiest Moments in 2008: The hottest moments of the year featuring beautiful young women, lesbian make-out sessions, naked Penthouse Pets, Naked Miss Howard TV’s, mother/daughter porn stars and guests riding the celebrated Stern erotic “Sybian” chair. Hosted by Jillian Barberie Reynolds. Premieres Jan.13.

● Howard TV’s Most Outrageous 2008: Every interview with Howard Stern has the potential to be outrageous but when Amy Fisher storms out of Howard ‘s studio, George Takei celebrates his bachelor party or Richard Christy plays the drums on a guy’s butt, there are no other television destinations with that kind surprise factor. Hosted by Bam Margera. Premieres Jan. 20.

● Howard TV’s Shocking Celebrity Moments 2008: Howard Stern interviews are always revealing. This special showcases the most shocking and entertaining moments in the studio with stars like Chris Rock, Chevy Chase, Maureen McCormick, Seth Rogen, Carly Simon, Tracy Morgan, Christian Slater, Alanis Morissette, Neil Patrick Harris and more. Hosted by Chris Booker. Premieres Jan. 27.

Also in January, the service brings back special encores of Howard TV On Demand classics “Bowling Beauties,” “Wack Pack Bowling,” and the “Miss Howard Stern Show” (season one).

5 dotted ducks

From the Howardshrine Mailbag: Merry Christmas from The Girls of Rick's Cabaret

Dear Doc,
On behalf of all the Girls of Rick's Cabaret, we wish you and yours
a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
We are here at the Rick's Vegas, but we will be visiting the Rick's
New York soon. Hope to see you.
Gracie, Lisa, Wendy, Natalia

This week on the Greg Fitzsimmons Show

Celebrity Stern Super Fan Terry O' Connell... no wait, Jerry O'Connell. Catch the Greg Fitzsimmons show Mondays at Midnight only on Howard 101.

"I'm a tortured fan" by allegrabene from SFN

I'm a tortured fan
I’m a tortured fan
I’m a tortured fan
I can’t believe I fell for this scam

The channel tagline
No more Bullshit
Has morphed into
At 10am we quit

Strippers ride the sybian
It’s gotten really old
What a bill of goods
Stern nation was sold

There's Jack and Rod
Unfunny prank calls
The show should move to OutQ
With Richard licking Sal's balls

Mel pleads his case
The companies need to merge
Thinking with a straight face
Which channels he’ll purge

Tahiti Village
And Save the Bees
Ashley Madison
Is this funny or sleaze?

Four day work weeks
And an intern show
Guaranteed entertainment?
Now they let Bubba go

They don’t have the budget
For Vegas remotes
We know the King’s holdings
His salary in quotes

What a disappointment
A sad state of affairs
Then the King is questioned
And he just doesn’t care

I’m a tortured fan
I’m a tortured fan
I can’t believe I fell for this scam


Howard TV On Demand Captures Comedian Artie Lange

Pictured above, Lange with Miss Howard TVs: Danielle, Jan 2008 (L) and Laura, Nov 2007 (R)

You Can Only See it on Howard TV—

Howard TV On Demand Captures Comedian Artie Lange as He Travels the Country Promoting His New York Times Best Selling Autobiography

For Artie Lange: Too Fat to Fish Book Special,

Exclusively on Howard TV On Demand

Since its debut last month, comedian Artie Lange’s autobiography “Too Fat To Fish” has been on the New York Times “Best Sellers” list (non-fiction). Lange has since been on a whirlwind promotion tour, meeting fans at book stores all over the country and appearing on national talk shows, including Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Lange had to deal with a high-priced, temperamental East German photographer for the book’s cover shoot to which he said, “This looks like every picture I’ve ever taken at the Department of Motor Vehicles!”

The Artie Lange: Too Fat to Fish Book Special premieres exclusively on the Howard TV On Demand service starting Thursday, December 18 with an insider’s look at all the comedic madness that is Artie Lange. Also featured in the show are special guests Seth Green and Lisa Lampanelli; Stern show’s loveable writer Benjy Bronk (appearing as Artie in street sketches); legions of loyal fans; plus friends and family including Artie’s mother who originally coined the phrase “too fat to fish.” Also appearing are fellow cast members of “The Howard Stern Show” including Howard Stern, Robin Quivers, Gary Dell’Abate, Fred Norris and Stern show regular Reverend Bob Levy.

This episode can only be seen on Howard TV On Demand, starting tomorrow, December 18, 2008. For more information about Howard TV On Demand and its availability, check out

Howard Stern thinking outloud again

Howard Stern ponders drifting away from satellite radio


Three years after he changed the radio game by jumping from the free
airwaves to Sirius satellite, Howard Stern is thinking out loud about
leaving altogether.

He raised that prospect on his show last week, and while radio
retirement is a notion he's floated often, he didn't back down when he
returned Monday, saying, "I don't know what I'll do."

If he does leave, it could cause a second seismic shift in the still
somewhat fragile satellite world.

Full Story

Headstone for Howard Stern

"King of All Media" Howard Stern had his annual "Secret Santa" party among his staff this morning on his Sirius/XM satellite radio show, and Stern received the wackiest -- and creepiest -- gift, if you could call it that.

And it was purchased in Jersey City, at Burns Brothers Inc., which makes head stones and monuments.

One of the show's staffers, Ted Sommer, an associate producer, got Stern a beautiful, gray 350-pound headstone with a drawing Stern engraved on it.

The gift, while extremely attractively and unique, did not go over well with Stern, who promised that it would never be used. Other staffers suggested selling it on eBay to raise money for charity.

Sommer, from here on out to be known as Tombstone Ted, argued throughout the show that it was a great gift and not in the least bit creepy.


Arbor Marie Bellocchio Selected as Howard Stern’s Miss Howard TV January 2009

Arbor Marie Bellocchio has been selected as Miss Howard TV January 2009 for Howard Stern’s Howard TV On Demand. Arbor Marie, born and raised in northern California, now lives in Las Vegas. She attended college to study fashion design but left school to become an exotic dancer. She’s now a dancer at the famous Rick’s Cabaret in Las Vegas where she goes by the stage name of “Melrose.” While appearing on air for her interview with Howard that is currently airing on Howard TV On Demand, she proudly mentions that stripping is a great way to make money despite the recent recession. She also discusses being single and how her job affects her dating life as well as sexual experiences she’s had with other women.

Miss Howard TV spokes-models are interviewed on “The Howard Stern Show” and then featured on Howard TV On Demand where they introduce and give an overview of the monthly programming on the channel. Arbor Marie and previous spokes-models are also profiled on

Jay Leno speaks on Howard Stern

Jay said:
"“I’m old enough to realize there’s only so many years left,” Mr. Leno said. “I kind of watched Howard Stern. On radio, Howard to me was a populist. The truck driver, the average guy would listen in the café, the truck, the old car that’s 50 years old and still has an AM radio. Then he went to Sirius and obviously it was a lot of money. But I don’t hear him quoted anymore. People don’t say: ‘Hey, did you hear what Howard said today?’ And I’m sure he’s still doing what he always does. But to me that seemed a mistake.”

Here is the full article:

In his first interview since announcing that he would remain with NBC, Jay Leno spoke with Bill Carter about the creation of his new prime-time series, tentatively titled “The Jay Leno Show.” In these exclusive outtakes from that interview, Mr. Leno spoke further about his broadcast-industry colleagues (and sometime rivals) David Letterman and Howard Stern, and why it might have been safer to stay in late night than move to prime time.
Mr. Leno knows he will not have an easy time next September when he begins competing against all the cops running around at 10 p.m. on other networks.
“The first time we get beat by ‘CSI Miami’ it’ll be: ‘Aha!’,” Mr. Leno said, relaxing on a plush couch in the green room of his “Tonight” show. “I just want to do well enough to get established. I’m a realist. I know it’s going to be different.”
He has already observed one competitor, Leslie Moonves, the CEO of CBS, guaranteeing Mr. Leno’s new prime time show will not beat CBS’s “CSI” franchise. “I never said we’d beat ‘CSI’ ever,” Mr. Leno said. “Those are well-produced, slick shows. But in the re-runs and other times, that’s when we catch up. The tortoise and the hare: that’s the key.”
Mr. Leno is accustomed to winning; he’s been doing it in late night for 15 years. “When you do what I do,” he said, “it’s sort of a populist thing. So when you’re not number one, you really lose. We try to do a broad spectrum of jokes. I try to do a clever one, then a silly joke then hopefully another clever joke and then maybe a corny joke.” His monologue now stretches to between 11 and 13 minutes a night.
Beyond the 46 weeks he works on television, Mr. Leno still performs about 160 stand-up comedy dates a year. Mr. Leno said, “I’m a comedian. I’m not a talk show host.” Of his great rival, David Letterman, he said, “I think Dave is a broadcaster, as a good a one as there has ever been. I would say Dave is a better broadcaster and I am the better stand-up comedian.”
Yet Mr. Leno clearly had no interest in stepping away from television. “I’m old enough to realize there’s only so many years left,” Mr. Leno said. “I kind of watched Howard Stern. On radio, Howard to me was a populist. The truck driver, the average guy would listen in the café, the truck, the old car that’s 50 years old and still has an AM radio. Then he went to Sirius and obviously it was a lot of money. But I don’t hear him quoted anymore. People don’t say: ‘Hey, did you hear what Howard said today?’ And I’m sure he’s still doing what he always does. But to me that seemed a mistake.”
Mr. Leno conceded, though, that it might have been easier to move to ABC and stay in late night, where he would have been the favorite to beat both Mr. Letterman and Conan O’Brien. “That would be nice,” he said. “But you know, things come along; you never know what’s going to knock you out of the box.”
He added: “If it was 1992, I wouldn’t have done it. But at this end of your career, if it doesn’t work, at least you can say: ‘I did that, I did the “Tonight” show,” and it worked out OK.”
Bill Carter’s complete report on Jay Leno and his move to prime time can be found here.

Source: New York Times

Server woes continue at SFN

prompting this new logo idea from one of the members.

Artie Lange serious over wrestler

Artie Lange, an actor? Well, not quite. According to Slash Film, Lange fell just short of nailing the audition for a role in the critically acclaimed film The Wrestler.

Recently, on the Howard Stern Show, the topic was brought up and Artie explained that he seriously perused the film’s fifth lead role, a sleazy wrestling promoter. It’s hard enough to believe this once, and possibly still, drug-addicted comedian can take anything seriously, but Artie spoke very passionately about the experience. “So it goes right till the end, and my manager calls me back and tells me ‘the other guy got it’. I was like ‘Aw Fuck!’ It was really like god fucking with me. I wanted it now.” If you don’t know much about Artie Lange, the crude language translates into enthusiasm for the topic he’s talking about.

Artie explained he thought he aced his auditions and couldn’t figure out why the role was given to another person. A friend of Artie’s said his loss may be the result of an altercation between Lange and the film’s director, Darren Aronofsky, back in the 90’s. According to this friend, Lange went a little over the top at a Hollywood party (that would putting it mildly) and picked a fight with Aronofsky. Artie continually hit Aronofsky in the face while verbally abusing him. Artie denied the validity of this story and Howard even backed him up doubting the director’s ability to come up with such a revenge plot.

While this may have been a disappointment to Lange, he certainly has more than enough to keep his spirits up now. His book, Too Fat To Fish, put him on the New York Times bestseller list. He’s even creating a television show for Comedy Central based on the book. He may be fat, he may take drugs, and even have a website dedicated to the countdown to his death (, but you can’t deny the fact that Artie Lange works with what he’s got and is a pretty successful guy.


William Shatner on Howard TV

You Can Only See It on Howard TV: Beam Him Up: William Shatner Talks with Howard Stern About His Current Television Projects, His Ongoing Feud with

George Takei and the Upcoming “Star Trek” Movie

Actor William Shatner stops by the Howard Stern studio; home of Howard TV On Demand to talk with Howard and the crew for a candid and comical appearance about his television career. Howard begins the interview by grilling Shatner about his wealth to which Shatner jokes, “I’m worthless. My self-image is so bad that I came on here and [Robin] said I’m not great and I agree with her.” When asked if he was offered a cameo in the new “Star Trek” movie by director J.J. Abrams, Shatner expresses his disappointment about not being included.

Referring to the recent revelations about bad blood between him and former “Star Trek” co-star George Takei (who often appears on “The Howard Stern Show” as a guest announcer), Stern asks Shatner to confirm whether he was invited to Takei’s recent wedding and Shatner replied, “Not to my knowledge.” When Stern plays a recent clip of Takei saying Shatner’s stability is called into question, Shatner jokingly agrees with him. Shatner hinted at reconciliation, possibly inviting Takei to appear on new his show, “Shatner’s Raw Nerve.” He sums up his philosophy by saying, “When you leave this life, wouldn’t it be better not to have any animus anywhere?”

This episode can only be seen on Howard TV On Demand, starting today, December 11, 2008. For more information about Howard TV On Demand and its availability, check out

Joey Boots' underwear too pricey for you??

How about an authenic ass napkin from the one and only Ass Napkin Ed?

Ass Napkin Ed:

Own a part of Howard Stern Show history! this is the actual napkin worn in pocket on the second appearance of Ass Napkin Ed on the show!Brand NEW condition, never been used. Was only in his pocket. Authenticity to be confirmed on Stern Fan Network message board by the VIP himself!

Buy here

Scores: "It's over; it is what it is,"

Thursday, December 11th 2008, 3:36 AM
It will soon be last call at Scores.
It's the last lap dance for Scores, the strip club empire whose comely babes attracted A-list celebs and money-burning execs.

Once the highest-grossing strip club chain in the world and a hangout for Madonna, Howard Stern, Russell Crowe, Jason Giambi and countless others, Scores will shut down before the new year, company officials said.

"It's over; it is what it is," said Scores lawyer George Weinbaum. Co-owner Elliot Osher confirmed the closing.

A weak economy, the loss of the W. 27th St. Scores' liquor license and the possibility the E. 60th St. joint would lose its booze ticket all helped do in the flesh factory.

A new strip joint with a liquor license will open at the East Side location, "but it won't be Scores and the owners will be different," Osher said.

The West Side Scores has been closed since May, when the State Liquor Authority took its license after a prostitution bust.

Founded in 1990 with one club at 333 E. 60th St., Scores grew into a national chain of seven clubs, including Scores West on 27th St., which took in as much as $400,000 a night, according to sources.

In its heyday, the East Side club was a mecca for sports stars like Giambi and Mark Messier, actors like Crowe and of course Stern, who talked up the club on his radio show. The Knicks held parties there, and eventually Scores became a publicly traded company.

The clubs were honey traps for out-of-town businessmen, who blew expense accounts on lap dances and champagne magnums, only to have their hangovers worsened by mind-boggling tabs.

A CEO of a St. Louis company sued the club when he racked up a $241,000 tab on his corporate American Express card in one blurry night.

He settled for an undisclosed amount.

Scores was the target of several criminal probes over the years, with allegations of silent underworld partners and tax evasion charges.

On Wednesday night, at the E. 60th St. location, a lone customer downed a half-price beer as club employees kept promising dancers would take the stage "any minute."

Joey Boots trying to cash in again on Howard Stern's name

You are bidding on the pair of underwear I was wearing during the "CRAPTACULAR" with Hi-Pitch Eric last month. Unfortunately I came up a bit short and Eric took top prize, I am hoping my underwear fetch more than Erics do, you are supporting a good cause by bidding on this item... ME!!!

I will personally autograph this item and include a certificate of authenticity with it. They will be shipped in a zip-lock baggy to seal in the freshness and sent in an un-marked envelope for privacy.

This is a private auction, your identity is protected so bid away. I will accept cash or money order from the high bidder, please contact me if you need other payment arrangements.

Feel free to ask any questions BEFORE bidding on this item.

Wouldn't this item look good, hanging above your dining room table?


bid here presents WHO SAID THIS?

"I have such a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for Howard," she said Wednesday from her home in Burbank, Calif. "I admire anybody who sticks to what they believe, who doesn't take it safe, who doesn't sit on the fence. And for him to tell me I had a bright future, well, it's really the first time I actually believed it."


A Howardshrine Exclusive: “The History of Howard Stern” Act II

Hey, Howard Stern fans,

Don’t miss “The History of Howard Stern” Act II, an unprecedented celebration and rare behind-the-scenes look at the life, career and achievements of Howard Stern. The sequel to the award winning series features never-before heard audio from Howard’s personal vault plus exclusive interviews and commentary from The Howard Stern Show staff, friends, family, former colleagues as well as some of the biggest names in entertainment.

Click the attachment for an EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PREVIEW of “The History of Howard Stern” Act II. Feel free to share it with your friends or post it on your site to help spread the word about this special event.


“The History of Howard Stern” Act II premieres on Monday, December 22nd and airs through Friday, January 2nd on Howard’s exclusive SIRIUS XM channels at 6:00 am ET on Howard 100 and 6:00am PT on Howard 101.

Not a SIRIUS XM subscriber? What are you waiting for?! Go to" for more information.

Beer Pong Table ready for Howard by Mutt

But is Howard ready?

Mutt from SFN:
Our Beer Pong Table for Howard is ready!!
After hearing Howard Stern say that he had a great time playing Beer Pong at Billy Joel's house with Ivanka Trump Labor Day Weekend, I thought, this guy needs his own table. I have one from and when ever we break it out people comment how great it is. Still it's not like he's going to set it up at his Hampton's house so I blew it off. Then when he told me that he was thinking about doing an evening drink show / beer pong tournament in October I knew he needed it for the studio. The tournament never happened and all Beer Pong talk has ended and I just sorta forgot about it. I have to admit, I was bumbed. It sounded like it would have been great radio and the though of Howard playing Beer Pong was just too fucking funny.

So it's Christmas time and since I didn't get him anything last year or for his wedding, I wanted to get Howard a little something to say thanks for the years of doing the Super Fan Roundtable. Normally SFN just complains about the show and I thought it would be nice if for once we contributed to it. I thought about getting him that monkey rocker thing for the studio but since they can't do penetration I had to scratch the idea. Then I remembered the Beer Pong Tournament that never happened and the answer was clear, lets get him a custom Beer Pong table. Maybe it'll get them in the mood for the drinking show. As you can probably tell by the SFN logo at the top of the page, I'm no graphic artist so I put it to all of you. We ran a contest where SFNers design the table we'll give to the show for Christmas and we have a winner. SFNer TheJuice put together the table I liked most. Here's his Howard Stern Pinball design and a couple close ups. ( close up 1 | close up 2 )

As a prize for the photoshop contest, TheJuice gets one. I'll be bringing Howard's to the studio this week with the full realization that it could get thrown in the wood chipper. He could be over Beer Pong and be back to saying it's gay. Keep your fingers crossed. I'm hoping it inspires them to bring back the evening tournament show idea. At the very least, I'm sure one of the staff will scoff it up. Congrats Juice!!! I hope Howard likes your design. I'm delivering it with a set of cups and balls.

These new tables fold into 4 parts making it small enough to fit int he trunk of the Mustang. It's real sturdy and requires no directions to set it up. Anyone can handle it. It's aluminum with double hasps to keep it closed so carrying it to a party is easy. In all ways, it's nicer than my old table. Still, mine kick ass too. (pics of the actual table are on the way. I'll take photos before wrapping it)

People have already asked me, how can I get one of those tables. obviously can't sell Howard Stern beer pong tables but they have lots of designs to pick from. Thier pre-made tables run from $110 to $200. For some extra cash they can print any design you want. You can use their template and photoshop your own Howard Stern design. For example, I had them print up mine in a Bubba Army design. The original graphic was from SFNer BioFussion and I re-worked it to fit my old table. I had planned on having it finished in time for last summer's AC Bubbapalooza but ran out of time. If you want the Bubba Army table, sorry. It doens't fit the tables they sell now nut hey maybe Bubba will stick it in his online store Here my table.

Want to order TheJuice's table design? It's a little bit of a process but you can handle it. had to already print it for us so they have the graphic. Click here to order a custom table. They are normally $259.99 but enter coupon code "SFN" to get 20% off making it $207.99. Next you are supposed to email them your custom design but in this case, TheJuice already did it for you. Just send an email to telling them you want the table SFN sent Howard Stern and reference your online order number in the subject field. That should handle it. If not, let me know and I'll give you the template so you can email it to them yourself.

PS - You cynical people out there always ask, did you get paid for this write up? No, I contacted them becasue I like the table and wanted to give Howard one. The only thing I asked him for was a discount code for you guys. That's 100% the truth.


Robin Quivers in the Top 10 Hottest Celebrity Draws

The Jonas Brothers top list of celeb charity draws

NEW YORK (AP) — Want to raise money for a good cause? Recruit the Jonas Brothers.

The sibling sensations top Charity Folks' list of the 10 hottest celebrity draws on the online charity-auction Web site.

The brothers Kevin, Joe and Nick raised $450,000 in an online charity auction by, which arranged VIP tickets and meet-and-greets in exchange for donations to the band's Change for the Children Foundation.

Billy Joel is second on the Charity Folks list with $400,000 earned from a private New York concert. Bruce Springsteen came in third with $300,000, followed by Morgan Freeman, Howard Stern sidekick Robin Quivers and the cast of "The Sopranos."


From the Howardshrine Mailbag: This Week on the Greg Fitzsimmons Show

Hey Doc!

Dave Navarro and Greg reconciled on The Gong Show, so Dave's coming in for our prime time show this Monday. Sweeeet!

Hmmm... I wonder if there are will be any awkward moments. Greg did call him "the Mexican Prince." And Dave did call Greg a cunt.

We're going on at a decent time slot too - 4pm PST/7pm EST.

Beth O interviews Michael Phelps

Artie Lange on The Sid Rosenberg Show

Listen here

Bubba says "goodbye" to his listeners

Bubba says "goodbye" to his listeners

Following yesterday's "Bubba The Love Sponge Show" - which subsequently was not heard on Sirius' encore broadcast - where Bubba and crew says that working with Sirius has been "worse than Clear Channel," and they bid farewell to their listeners.

Listen here:

Interview with Riley Martin by Shabooty

Shabooty: Hello Riley, how is your hip injury doing?
Riley Martin: It’s coming along well, I’m getting around pretty good now on my own - using a cane now. [Not on] crutches. I’m healing up, I’m not as I used to be, naturally not as swift as I used to be, I’m doing okay.

Do you still partake in the “happy smoke,” present day?
Never was a real mainstay of mine, mostly all I do these days is light beer - Miller Light, I like a nice beer, ya know. I’m not casting any aspersions on anyone that might like a taste of the herbal essence - no longer a big factor, though. Years and years ago, I used to grow it - good quality, Scandinavian seeds, what have you.

Can you name some of the specific art products you use in creating the symbols?
I use pen and ink, sharpee, crayolas for coloring. [That's] not so important, it’s not important what art material you use, but the natural spirit imbibed in the symbol. I’ve done thousands of symbols - no two are the same. No artist has done that many different representations of anything before.

I have to ask, do the aliens make bowel movements?
I’m sure they do, however Biaviians do not eat solids, they eat several [forms of] liquids, only a sip at a time. Their bodies absorb most of the nutrients that they eat. Though I’ve never seen it, I am sure that they must [have a BM] to some extent, sooner or later.
Also, as you may know, their sexual organs render them not capable of copulation like we make love. It’s passe with them, but they do have ways to make love. Their children are born in laboratories.

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Howard TV Is There the Moment Artie Learns that His Book Debuts at No. 1 on New York Times Bestseller List

New York, Dec. 5 - Comedian Artie Lange’s autobiography Too Fat To Fish which debuted at number one on the New York Times Best Seller list (non-fiction) has fans from all over the country coming out to meet him and cheer him on. This popular cast member of “The Howard Stern Show” is about to wrap up one of the most memorable years of his life and Howard TV On Demand has been documenting the excitement for an exclusive special. Howard TV recently joined Lange as he travelled around the United States promoting his book on national talk shows and in book stores from coast to coast. The result is Artie Lange: Too Fat to Fish Book Special set to premiere on the Howard TV On Demand service starting Thursday, December 18.

Featured in the show are Howard Stern; cast members; special guests Seth Green and Lisa Lampanelli; Stern show’s loveable writer Benjy Bronk (appearing as Artie in street sketches); legions of loyal fans; plus friends and family including Artie’s mother who originally coined the phrase “too fat to fish.”

Artie Lange: Too Fat to Fish Book Special goes behind-the-scenes and captures the authentic Artie. Interviews include Artie himself as well as Howard Stern, Robin Quivers, Gary Dell’Abate, Fred Norris, with Stern show regular the Reverend Bob Levy “trying” to read sections of the book. The special captures memorable events such as the book cover photo shoot with a temperamental East German photographer; Lange’s preparations backstage for his appearance on Late Night with Conan O’Brien and his meet-and-greet sessions with fiercely supportive fans at book stores around the country. Howard TV cameras were there at the “Bookends” appearance in Ridgewood, New Jersey at the moment Artie found out his book was

slated to debut at number one on the New York Times Best Seller list (non-fiction). Coincidentally, his mother, sister, aunt, uncle and publisher were all there at that moment.

Wack Pack regulars Beetlejuice, High Pitch Eric, Double A, Fred the Elephant Boy and Marianne from Brooklyn make appearances on the special. Plus, see Artie’s fans comment on the book and share their love for him.

Doug Z. Goodstein is the Executive Producer for Artie Lange’s Too Fat to Fish Book Special. Mike Gange is Supervising Producer. Keith Fenimore serves as Director/Senior Producer.

"Howard Stern" on FrankTV

High Pitch Gay Mike makes gueer news

Think your coming out story is harrowing? Howard Stern staffer High-Pitch Mike came on The Howard Stern Show aka The Straightest Place in the Known Universe yesterday. Last month, he'd been hooked up to a lie detector test (you know, because that's what happens on The Howard Stern Show) and failed the "Are you gay?" question. The incident made him reevaluate his life. After the show:
Mike listened to Brian McKnight's "Never Felt This Way" on repeat and realized he was never going to experience the kind of love Howard and Beth or his parents share: "The song made me realize how lonely I was and how empty my life has been…it's time for me to come out of the closet and admit…I am gay."

Because this is a heart-warming coming out story, we're going to refrain from commenting on the cultural value of "Never Felt This Way" for the moment. Over the holiday, Mike decided to come out to his mother, who had previously said she would disown him if he were gay. Signs you may be gay: Your mother threatens to disown you if you say you're gay. Also, your nickname is "High-Pitched Mike". At first Mrs. High-Pitch repeated her threat of disowning Mike, but as he was about to hang up the phone she said, "I love you and I just want you to be happy…I want you to be happy in your life no matter what…I love you more than life itself."

Stern told Mike "I'm very proud of you and happy for you", before asking questions about his sex life and who he's dating. Mike demurred on the sex questions since his Mom was listening in and you know, talking about your sex life on national radio 15 minutes after coming out might be a bit much for anyone. Stern even suggested that High-Pitched Mike's voice might now deepen because "high-pitched voices are usually the result of stress". Mike also gave a shout-out to the Matthew Shepherd Foundation.

If you don't think choosing to come out can have an impact on the way people perceive gays and lesbians, here's an email we received this morning from Queerty fan Kristal:

"I am a big fan of The Howard Stern Show and although there is a general perception that he is a homophobe he is actually very gay positive and a huge supporter of gay rights in general and gay marriage specifically…A lot of the guys on this show besides Howard make gay jokes constantly and it was sweet to hear them tell this guy they love him and they are proud and happy for him to finally be out of the closet. I am newish to this site but as a straight black christian californian was so saddened by the Yes on Prop 8 vote that I have decided to get more involved in the current civil rights movement. The hot guys on the site help too. Blessings."


Pregnant Prostitute Alana Love Talks to Howard Stern

Pregnant Prostitute Alana Love Talks to Howard Stern

A woman named Alana Love is quickly making a name for herself as the pregnant prostitute at the infamous Bunny Ranch.

Alana Love — who, by her own accounts, is 20 years old and seven months pregnant — starting working at the Nevada “ranch” last week. She appeared on “The Howard Stern Show” Tuesday morning to discuss her decision.

The interview was decidedly Stern-like, with Howard commenting on how hot Love was and asking her to strip down. When asked how many men she had been intimate with, Love stated she’d only been with three men prior to her start at the Bunny Ranch. She also said her father was the mayor of her town growing up.

As for the child’s father, it appears he is not in the picture. Alana Love said he was only paying her $25 a month for child support. Stern, of course, didn’t leave it at that — he got the guy on the phone. The man claimed Love had been “sleeping with every guy she could find” and said he wouldn’t get any more involved until she had a DNA test.

Alana Love told Stern she plans to work at the Bunny Ranch through January. Her due date, oddly enough, is February 14.

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Artie Lange on naked news

somewhere. Jackie the Jokeman is the featured interview today.

check it out

Odds of Mel Karmazin leaving Sirius on his own accord now at less than 50%.

10 CEOs To Go For 2009: Mel Karmazin of SIRIUS XM (SIRI)
It is December, and it is time for many companies to review their existing plans and decide to make some major changes in 2009. SIRIUS XM Radio Inc. (NASDAQ: SIRI) now stands at a critical juncture, and this is a call which will not come about easily. It is also a call which may be one of the more controversial calls out there. It is time for a major change at SIRIUS XM, and that change needs to be the ouster of Mel Karmazin as CEO.

For a backgrounder on criteria, we do not name a CEO with the title of "one who needs to leave" just on share price alone. This call is also not just because the growth ahead will be less than many have hoped and less than what Karmazin had predicted. The call isn't even based upon the great possibility that even that lowered growth target may have to be reduced again. This is also not personal because we have had no dealings with the company nor with Mr. Karmazin. But there has been serious destruction of investor wealth here which cannot be ignored. The only recent investors who have made money are those who sold shares short.

If you go through the list of 2008 CEO's to go, almost all of those called out have moved on by now. If you go through our list of 2007 CEO's to go, you'll see that most have hit the road.

Mel was deemed a hero when he came over and was credited as the key reason that Howard Stern landed at SIRIUS. So he does deserve a large part of the credit for the company's early growth. But Stern's massive pay package came when shareholders were already feeling a major pinch, and that may have been the first straw putting pressure on the camel's back. That prior success was short-lived and has since turned into a shareholder disaster.

We predicted the path to merger in late 2006 and even suggested that either XM head Hugh Panero or Karmazin would go when the new company launches. Panero was the one who left. And Mel Karmazin either miscalculated the time that the merger would take or he just assumed that the merger would get approved since every other merger was approved. You can look through our "satellite" sector and see his comments we have noted over and over on this. The result was a disaster because the merger took so long and came at such a cost that now the company has some serious viability issues if it cannot secure ample financing. The company just wrote off enough value from the XM merger that the current numbers are now almost numbing.

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