by I. Humphrey
IgnatsHumphrey@aol.com
Jillian Barberie may be able to turn us on, but after hearing her on The Howard Stern Show this morning, we all want to turn her off. She was so annoying today that it was actually a relief to hear Maryanne's (from Brooklyn) cackling crow voice. Imagine.
Where can I begin? Should I start with Jillian's loud voice? Okay. Jillian was practically screaming, and over-talking everyone in the studio. The term attention whore doesn't do her justice. The only excuse for her behavior is if she's partially deaf. I know that after hearing her on The Howard Stern Show this morning, most of the audience either is, or wishes they were (partially deaf).
And it wasn't even the loudness of Jillian's voice that was most objectionable -- it was her vapid comments, a sort of stream-of-stupidness without pause or relief. One has to wonder if she even hears what comes out of her own mouth. Speaking of which, Jillian's tale about how she vomited on her husband's penis during fellatio was the audible equivalent of a cold shower. She's nasty, and not in a good way. Her husband should not limit hitting her to only sexual activity.
Jillian Barberie is the walking embodyment/personification of why men want hot chicks to shut up. She suffers from terminal hot bitch disease. This is an affliction common to those of ample body and small of brain, in that she confuses the attention she gets for her looks as also applying to her mind. Jillian is so delusional, and clueless she would interrupt Einstein.
As annoying as it is to listen to Howard Stern and Artie Lange's narcissistic all roads point to them self-referencing stories, Jillian is far worse. She's a penis stent for the ears. One would not be wrong to label Jillian a female Artie Lange. Nuff said.
For all these reasons, and because I'll never get to bang her, I hearby award Jillian Barberie the title of Most Annoying Woman on Earth.
For Howard Shrine Spews & Views, this is I. Humphrey saying, "may your beer be cold and your beyaaatches mute!"
