IgnatsHumphrey@aol.com
Q: What does KOAL stand for? A: King of All Liars.
I hope Stern Fans were wearing there shit helmets this morning, because Howard was really slinging it. We've all heard Howard's crap about how he couldn't get Jackie Martling more money. Today, while Howard was spinning an identical yarn about Billy West, Artie Lange stated that thanks to Howard he's paid much more than he's worth. True, and Howard didn't contradict him. We all know if Artie ever complained he was underpaid, Howard would say it was out of his control because Artie was a Sirius employee. KOAL! Note to Howard, you can't have it both ways. Either you're the KOAM (King of All Media), or you're not.
Billy West was let go because he was more talented than Howard Stern. It's that simple. When Billy was on a roll all Howard could do was sit behind his control board and laugh. I remember watching a taping of The Howard Stern Show on television back in the Billy West days. When Billy opened his mouth he completely hijacked the show. The expression on Howard's face was pure jealousy. From that moment I knew Billy's days were numbered. If you want to keep your job, you better not show up your boss.
Billy West was let go because Mel Karmazin and Krock had too much invested in The Howard Stern Show to risk having their brand look less luminous. A few years ago Howard had to admit on-air that he sabotaged The Opie & Anthony Show by speaking to Mel behind the scenes. The pattern emerging here is that Howard will not confront talent directly. How ironic is it that one only has to change the H to a C to spell coward? Okay, that was too easy, sorry.
Today Howard claimed he was unable to understand why Billy West would go on Jackie Martling's show, and not come on his. Howard said Billy West shouldn't blame him for not getting more money because Billy was really a Krock employee and therefore Howard was powerless to help him. Uh, huh, KOAL!
Billy West's behavior is consistent and rings true. Unlike the movies, the good guy doesn't always win. Billy West lost. Howard Stern fans lost. And in a way, the person who lost most of all was Howard Stern because by his actions he became less of a man, and one who will be remembered as the KOAL.
KOAJM (King of all Jewish Mobsters) Meyer Lansky said it best, ""Don't lie,Tell one lie,then you gotta tell another lie to compound on the first."
For Howard Shrine Spews & Views, this is I. Humphrey saying, "paint me green, beyaaatch!"
