Stern Show’s Gary Dell’Abate Inks Book Deal


Stern Show’s Gary Dell’Abate Inks Book Deal

April 28, 2010 (1:18 pm) Spencer Osborne
The Howard Stern Show has been a prolific part of radio for more than two decades. Throughout the years, many Stern Show participants have benefited from their association with Howard. There have been books, comedy tours, web sites, acting gigs, and even DJ businesses that have all blossomed from the success of the morning radio staple.

The latest news is that Stern Show producer Gary Dell’Abate, also known as BaBa Booey, will be penning a book due out November 3rd of this year. The title… “They Call Me BaBa Booey”. The book is virtually certain to sell many copies. In the past other show participants, including Artie Lange have had great success selling their books.

Dell’Abate’s book is about everything from his relationship with his mother, to his now famous first pitch at a Met’s game. The pitch has gone down as one of the worst opening pitches in history, and fans certainly never let him forget it. The ball was even auctioned off, and the proud owner is TSS-Radio.

They Call Me BaBa Booey is already available for pre-order on Amazon.com for $16.50. If that is not tantalizing enough, there will be an audio book available as well, which is certain to wind up in many Stern Show bits, prank calls, and a general topic of discussion on the show.

Still want more? Imagine the appearances on talk show’s. Gary on Letterman, Regis and Kelly, or even with John Stewart. It will be priceless, and not only give the book exposure, but Sirius XM and the Stern Show as well.

Position – Long Sirius XM Radio


source

A BABA BOOEY BOOK

Book deal for Baba Booey: Howard Stern producer will write a memoir

Howard Stern producer Gary Dell'Abate, a.k.a. Baba Booey, has scored a deal to write a memoir for Random House, SiriusBuzz reports.

Stern mentioned the forthcoming book on his Wednesday show, according to the radio show's website, and Dell'Abate joined him:

Gary came in to say his shrink has a theory about growing up in the Dell'Abate household: "Every day when you turned the doorknob, you didn't know if you were going to be kicked in the teeth emotionally or hugged." Howard laughed: "Everything with you is teeth!" Gary said his boyhood home's front door prepared him for working on the show: "It's kind of like opening the door to the studio every day."

Expect an early November release for "They Call Me Baba Booey," which Dell'Abate will write with author Chad Millman, who previously co-wrote mixed martial artist and UFC champ Chuck Lidell's autobiography.

Perhaps that experience has prepared Millman for working with a member of Stern's crew?

SOURCE: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/gossip/2010/04/howard-stern-baba-booey-book-deal-memoir.html

HOWARD STERN AND THE INTERNET

How Howard Stern Could Start an Internet Empire April 27, 2010 Jeff Jarvis Yesterday’s Howard Stern show appearance came because on This Week in Google, we’d made fun of Howard Stern for using Lotus Notes still and Howard’s geek guru, Jeff Schick of IBM, rose up in protest and invited me in to see how the show uses it.

Start with Stern technology: Schick said they they digitize everything - every show, every bit of audio, every press clipping, even everything sent into the show. They scan all the fan mail. They scan dildoes. This adds up to 100 terabytes of data. That’s stored at Howard’s office in New York (outside Sirius) - which is in addition to the audio that’s stored, of course, at Sirius (and backed up in New Jersey), and in addition to the video archives. Howard’s own 100tb is backed up at Howard’s beach house. Howard’s office has a T1 and business-class cable and a direct link to Howard’s apartment, which also has business-class cable, like his beach house (which has CAT5 cable in every all and multiple wi-fi networks for Howard and guests). Serious shit.

On air, I asked Howard whether all this means that fans will someday have access to it. He said yes. I don’t want to read too much into that but I keep hoping that if Stern leaves satellite, he’ll start an internet empire.

I think the economics work: Stern has proven, thanks to his move to Sirius, that his fans, by the millions, will pay $12 a month to hear him. He can charge less online and make more because he’d own it entirely and his cost structure - technology, programming, marketing - would be far less than Sirius’.

The technology isn’t quite there but it will be soon. We fans need to be able to listen to Stern in our cars in the morning. We need to able to listen to the internet. That is possible today. On the way to the show yesterday, I listened to it on my iPhone. (Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone in case Sirius or Apple cuts it off. But it’s legit; I pay for internet access and use my internet password to get access on the phone.) We can listen to shows we buy on our iPods (but it’s better live). I have no doubt the technology will arrive and soon - but soon enough for the end of Stern’s contract in December? We’ll see.

By the way, I also got to see what they’re talking about on the Stern show when they say “Gary Preview Page 2, second column, bottom, in yellow….” It’s Prophet, the Sirius system for storing and playing all audio and at their consoles they go to a page and there are boxes in color; touch the box and it plays.

Now as for Lotus: In their office, Jeff Schick and a colleague generously spent a few hours giving me a tour of what they can do. I’ll concede: It’s impressive. What impressed me is that IBM integrated the functions of the collaborative, social internet - email, Twitter, wikis, LinkedIn, Facebook, Facebook Connect, directories, blogs, calendars, Skype, bookmarks, tagging - in a way that I wish they would all interroperate: click on a name and get everything about them (contact, place, tags, bookmarks); pull together people in calls or calendars just by dragging them; see how people are sharing your documents; see how people are connected….

Only thing is, IBM had to essentially recreate the internet and all these functions to do that, both so they could integrate it all and so that it could operate behind corporate firewalls. We internet snobs make fun of that, but I understand why they do that. But as we talk about how our internet should operate - how open standards for identity, for example, should work - the irony is that we could look at the interlocked IBM platforms to see the promise of it. It’s closed, for a reason, but it shows what an open structure would look like if it operated on truly open standards. I wonder whether there’s an opportunity for IBM to offer these functions at a retail level.

So thanks to Jeff Schick, I got to see Stern’s technology and IBM’s and get onto the show and so I’ll take back my snickers about Notes, most of them


SOURCE: http://thefastertimes.com/mediaandtech/2010/04/27/how-howard-stern-could-start-an-internet-empire/

BEETLEJUICE HOSPITALIZED

Last week Beetlejuice (aka Lester Green) was hospitalized with kidney issues. The first news was that he was seriously ill. However, his Mother has let everyone know that it was not as serious as first thought. He is just getting some normal treatments. He is home, or should be home today. His mother is just being overprotective, as any mother would be. Beetlejuice is still bad As can!!



source: http://www.sternfannetwork.com/forum/showthread.php?t=521511

A HOWARDSHRINE EXCLUSIVE: CAPTAIN JANKS RESPONDS

The Howardshrine news team is continuing to follow the news story of Rev. Bob Levy's rant against the Stern show. Recently Captain Janks responded to the Levy situation and to Artie Lange's problems in general:

"I can’t thank Artie enough for the help he gave me when I was in trouble. It was WAY above any beyond. I consider Artie a VERY big part of my sobriety, because he helped me see that no matter how bad people, and things get, there are still good, kind decent people willing to help. I will never be able to pay him back for that even more than the funds he raised for me. But if someone is using drugs, they will not stop till they are ready. RIGHT BOB? As a friend, I will give my full support to Artie. Anything he needs, he can call me. ANYTHING. The bottom line is that no one is responsible for someone using but the person that is using.

Once that person accepts responsibility, then they can deal with the problem thru rehab, 12 step programs, and whatever else helps them stay sober. But I’m sure Artie would agree that Howard, nor any other person is responsible for his drug issues. I’m also sure that he knows that. Your issue Bob, is that you didn’t get your way, and you are throwing a temper tantrum. So don’t use Artie’s situation as a deflector to your own childish issues. I wish Artie all the best, and hope to see you back on the show again. Bob, I wish you the best in your recovery when YOU finally come out and admit your own drug issues. Thatis what this is all about. Not Artie. He’s well on his way on the road of recovery."


source: http://savebabygorilla.com/2010/04/23/bob-levy-blames-howard-for-artie/#comments

DAVID LEE ROTH'S EGO GOT HIM JOB

David Lee Roth's ego landed him in Howard Stern's seat on CBS Radio morning show in 2006:

By David Hinckley
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER


CBS Radio fantasized about getting Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David or Jon Stewart to replace Howard Stern when he left his ultra-successful terrestrial morning radio show at the end of 2005, says the then-CBS executive in charge of the search.

CBS ultimately settled for David Lee Roth, said former CBS exec Rob Barnett, because he was the only viable candidate with an ego large enough to think he could step into Stern’s shoes.

“That couldn’t have been your first choice,” Stern’s sidekick Robin Quivers said.

“Seventy-eighth choice,” said Barnett, who eventually rose to the position of CBS Radio president before he was downsized out of a job.Barnett guested on Stern’s
Sirius XM show Tuesday morning. He and Stern both said the drama led to many dead ends and some lingering hard feelings.

First of all, said Barnett, the idea of replacing Stern, who was heard in New York on WXRK (92.3 FM) and had one of the most popular syndicated shows in the country, was a “ridiculous impossibility."

“The only name that advertisers would hear and think ‘maybe we’ll put one twentieth of Howard’s dollars on that’…was Jon Stewart.”

So he approached then-CBS Radio President Joel Hollander, “and I said, Jon’s not going to host a radio show. But Jon is a producer and a person who develops new talent. Jon developed Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell, not radio guys. Stewart is a big name and I wanted him to meet Joel.”

Then “two minutes into the meeting,” said Barnett, Hollander asked Stewart to host, and “Jon quickly wrapped up the meeting.”

Hollander also contacted Seinfeld, Chris Rock and others, said Barnett, even though “all the money in the world couldn’t get them to do five hours of live radio. They’re already rich.”

Hollander also turned down the idea of Opie and Anthony, said Barnett.

So it came down to Roth, he said, who was eager to take the job and did a tryout in Boston that Barnett called “amazing.”

But when Roth got to Stern’s seat in early 2006, it all went south. He lingered a few months, long enough to go down as one of the major disasters in radio history.

“The meltdown came day one or day two,” said Barnett, “when he got in the chair … and wouldn’t listen to anyone that was there to do only one thing….to help him.”

Opie and Anthony took over a few months later and eventually were also cashiered when the ratings never approached Stern territory.

Many of Stern’s old stations eventually changed formats. K-Rock, which played rock during non-Stern hours, is now a top-40.

All this has been resurrected lately as Stern approaches the end of his five-year deal with Sirius XM, in December, and speculation mounts about what he will do next.

He has denied he has any plans to return to “free” radio, where he said again on Tuesday that censorship restrictions drove him nuts.

He also said he still has “a tremendous amount of animosity” toward Hollander and current CBS CEO Les Moonves.

“Joel Hollander, I have no love for the guy,” Stern said. “And Les Moonves treated me horribly. They wished me well. Then a couple of months later they sued me.“

Stern also said that while he liked Roth and wished him well, he knew he would fail when he didn’t seem to grasp the idea that talking to a radio audience is different than talking to the crowd at a rock concert.

“He looked at me with a blank stare,” said Stern, “like he wasn’t concerned.”

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/music/2010/04/21/2010-04-21_david_lee_roths_ego_landed_him_in_howard_sterns_seat_on_cbs_radio_morning_show_i.html#ixzz0m37qAvps

HOWARD STERN ON TMZ









REV. BOB LEVY QUITS MISERABLE MEN

BREAKING NEWS FROM BOB LEVY: "After alot of thought over the last few weeks ive decided to resign from the miserable men there has been alot of stuff since my plugs being pulled for no reason and other thing that made me decide its not worth it for me i wish the others well and find someone to take my spot but i,d rather be home with my family on sunday then running from a airport to the studio for no money".

SOURCE: http://artiefannetwork.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=779

Beth and Bababooie in Boulevard (4/21/10)



Thanks joner1 for the info.


boulevardli.com



Gary's article

HOWARD STERN'S "HOWARD TV" NOW SHOWING "RONNIE AT RICK'S CABARET AUSTIN, TEXAS" ALL THIS MONTH!





RICK'S CABARET AUSTIN OPENING WEEK IS A HUGE SUCCESS!

Rick's Cabaret Austin Texas opened this month with a week long celebration and featured over 100 beautiful Rick's Cabaret Girls. Special guest host was "Ronnie the Limo Driver" from the Howard Stern Sirius/XM Radio Show.


Howard Stern's "Howard TV" filmed some of the excitement, and an episode entitled "Ronnie at Rick's Cabaret Austin, Texas" is now showing on the "Howard TV On Demand" channel.


"We were packed every night," said Rick's Cabaret Girl Alicia, a 34C-24-33 blonde. "It was a lot of fun. This is definitely my favorite club to work in."


"There were lots of Stern fans here," said Rick's Cabaret Girl Violet, a 36D-24-35 brunette. "I grew up listening to Howard and I love all the guys."


"I love the Rick's Cabaret in New York, I love Rick's Vegas, I love Rick's Austin--hey, all the Rick's are great. If the sign says Rick's Cabaret you know you're gonna find hot girls," explained Ronnie the Limo Driver. "Oh, and don't forget Tootsie's in Miami. That's another Rick's Club that is amazing."


Howard Stern fans get an uncensored window into Howard's freedom on satellite radio with digital cable's premium video-on-demand service HOWARD TV ON DEMAND. The channel exclusively provides the daily Sirius/XM shows as well as original programming conceptualized by Howard Stern and the Howard TV On Demand producers.


Ricks.com
Rick's Cabaret Austin
3105 S Interstate 35
Round Rock, Texas


HowardTV.com

REV. BOB LEVY BLASTS HOWARD STERN

Here is an interesting video where Rev. Bob Levy blasts Howard Stern and talks about Artie Lange briefly...

Megyn of Fox News on The View and Howard Stern

watch here

BLAST FROM THE PAST: ARTIE PLAYS SOFTBALL

A HOWARDSHRINE EXCLUSIVE: ARTIE LANGE RELEASED FROM FACILITY

In another Shrine exlusive, it has been uncovered that comedian Artie Lange will be released from the mental/drug facility where he has been recovering on April 23rd. According to his sister Stacey Lange, he suffered "a minor setback" last week, but again there is word that he will be released on April 23rd. The Shrine news team will keep you posted on any further developments...

source: http://artiefannetwork.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=740

NEW ARTIE LANGE MOVIE

There's still no sign of Artie Lange in the Howard Stern Show studios, but Lange fans may get a chance to see their absent hero in a new film that was nearly the comedian's "swan song".

The film, called 'Serial Buddies' has been billed as a "serial killer buddy flick" co-starring iconic weirdo Christopher Lloyd, Happy Gilmore's Christopher McDonald and Maria Menounos from One Tree Hill as well as Artie Lange. Menounos also co-produced the film.

Maria Menounos was in studio at the Howard Stern Show in 2006 and helped out Howard Stern's wife Beth Ostrosky by acting as celebrity host for the Dogcademy Awards at the North Shore Animal League in 2008, leading Howard Stern to dub her "a piece of ass and a home run chick.

Longtime enemy of the Howard Stern Show Kathie Lee Gifford also does a cameo in the film.

'Serial Buddies' is slated for release some time in 2010.


SOURCE: http://www.examiner.com/x-11279-Howard-Stern-Examiner~y2010m4d16-New-Artie-Lange-film-set-for-release-this-year-video

Howard Stern guest and Tiger Woods mistress interviewed by Shabooty !!


Joslyn James was born in upstate New York, on November 22th, 1977. After college she became an adult film star sensation, appearing in approx 20 films. Her extensive career in the mainstream limelight has included numerous, high profile television shows, magazine and promotional appearances including: E! Entertainment TV, The Travel Channel, Dr. 90210, Sin City Diaries, Elimi-Date, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, World Series of Poker, 944 Magazine and Las Vegas Weekly to name just a few. She left the industry several years ago due to her 3 year intimate love relationship with Tiger Woods.

I talked to Joslyn James today, a week after she was on The Howard Stern Show. I still had a few questions that remained unanswered, so I am proud to bring to you the Shabooty Interview of (Tiger Woods’ mistress), Joslyn James!




Shabooty: How did your feature dancing in GA go?
Joslyn James: My dancing in Georgia went very, very, well. I had a great time, there was a really good turn out. The fans were amazing and I look forward to going back there.

Was that the first time you had danced there?
Yes.

What is your natural hair color?
Brown.

Are you part Irish?
No, I’m Polish and Ukrainian.

Do you only date black guys in your personal life?
I prefer nice men, that’s what I prefer.


full interview

THE END OF RADIO

In 2005, as "shock jock" host Howard Stern prepared to sign off the terrestrial radio airwaves for the last time, he very confidently and aptly predicted its demise.

"Terrestrial radio is dead!" He said at a farewell rally broadcast over WXRK's FM signal. "Satellite is the future."

Stern has since broadcast live shows, with more freedom though less notoriety, over Sirius-XM's closed circuit satellite system. Shortly after Stern signed with the company then known as Sirius Satellite Radio, its subscriber base steadily grew from seven-hundred-thousand to eight-million, rivaling its only competition: the company then known as XM Satellite Radio and its roughly ten million subscribers. Sirius CEO Mel Karmazin then forced a merger to create the nation's lone satellite radio provider.

The merger was held up by the United States Congress and the Federal Communications Commission for an inordinate and unprecedented eleven months: longer than the merger between Exxon and Mobil. The likely reason is that Terrestrial Radio groups like the National Association of Broadcasters poured hundreds of thousands dollars into lobbying against the move, which they argued would create a monopoly.

But fast forward a few months to the present day, and the union of Sirius and XM does not seem to have made the company any more formidable. Inhibitive costs for music licensing and space technology are comparable, in terms of obstacles, to terrestrial radio's dwindling ad revenues and decaying transmission infrastructure.

Howard Stern was not wrong in declaring that "Terrestrial Radio is dead,' but he may not have been on target when he said that "Satellite is the future."

Both companies, like newspapers, face an increasingly hostile consumer and technological environment. As MP3 technology continues to be integrated more and more into phones, cars and homes, the need for music from the radio will dwindle. Other services like Pandora, tailor make music playlists based on the user's tastes. Pandora is now available for phone and car integration as well.

The industry went through a similar crisis in the early second half of the Twentieth Century. Television soap operas and dramas were quickly eclipsing those offered by radio. Before long, it was simply commercially inviable to broadcast something people could see as well as hear.

But radio survived, because as the old saying went "People always need something to listen to in the car."

Now as most automobile manufacturers offer alternatives to radio in cars, the industry will diminish further. Of course, it will still survive. Traffic and weather reports offered by national services like Sirius-XM are unreliable and unspecific. And the great majority of American and foreign cars will likely include AM/FM radios for decades to come. But broadcast corporations like Infinity and Clear Channel will be paying less for talent, will consolidate music stations, and will jack up advertising time to compensate for lost revenue: all the tell-tale signs of an industry on its way to the bottom.

SOURCE: http://media.www.tchnews.com/media/storage/paper840/news/2010/04/12/News/Radio.End.Days-3903612.shtml

SFN: UNDER INVESTIGATION

From Mutt, the owner of SFN:

"Hey guys, Steve Langford just called concerning the SternShowBlog guy & the SFNers. I told him, don't fuck w/ the SFNers. He wanted to know if I've been contacted yet about any criminal complaints being filed against SFN or it's members for illegal activities against the bloggers.

What the fuck is he talking about? the blog guy, not Langford. What fucking criminal activities is he alluding to? Didn't you guys just make photoshops of him? and speaking of photoshops, where are these photoshops cause i wanna see them. if any of them may be illegal, I guess it's my responsibility to inspect them. Can a brotha get a re-post.

Anyway, according to Langford the blog guys says we didn't handle cleaning up his flame war fast enough. that's right, he started a flame war w/ the SFNers of all insane things & then complained to Langford that our staff didn't make it all go away fast enough for him. I'm sorry but didn't he write another blog saying copter handled it within a couple hours??! he went as far as to thank him for handling it so quickly.

What exactly did the blog guy say about SFN casue he had already deleted the blog by the time I read his facebook message to me & he had a new one up saying how he was above flame wars even though he was the one who started this one."

SOURCE: http://www.sternfannetwork.com/forum/showthread.php?t=517857

Videos from Zolar and The King of Cable

King of Cable's Latest work



Zolar says please check my new vid , it could save ur life !
Here

A HOWARDSHRINE EXCLUSIVE: STERN SHOW BLOG CLOSED?

It looks like a popular site for Stern related news has shut down. The Unofficial Stern Show Blog recently raged a war against SFN. Within days of the declaration of war, the unofficial Stern site seems to have been shut down. Shrine reporters are investigating further if the shutdown was related to the SFN fight or if it was unrelated. Either way, the Howard Shrine will bring you unbiased news, and we will get down to the bottom of things!

http://www.sternshowblog.com

CAPTAIN JANKS STRIKES AGAIN!!!

A prank call to Fox News by an infamous Howard Stern super-fan made it on air on Monday.

During a segment on a West Virginia mining accident, the trickster known as Captain Janks was introduced by anchor Shepard Smith as "Richard Kendrowski," a spokesperson for "the energy company."

Asked to share information about the accident, Janks blurted out, "We've learned that Jamie Foxx is a c**t and that Howard Stern rules."

"That's unfortunate," Smith quickly interjected. "It's never happened to us here but it's always distressing when there are six people killed at a mine disaster and we're waiting for 21 others to find out whether they are alive or dead and something like that sneaks by our screeners. Disgusting."

Janks' reference to Jamie Foxx is related to the actor's current feud with Stern over comments the shock-jock made about "Precious" star Gabourey Sidibe.



source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/05/howard-stern-jamie-foxx_n_526395.html

HOWARD STERN TEAMS UP WITH MR. SKIN

In what could be the most obvious coupling of all time, the world's foremost authority on celebrity nudity, Jim McBride, aka Mr. Skin, has teamed up with America's foremost lover of nude women, Howard Stern, for a four-part special on Howard TV On Demand, 'Howard Stern's Hottest Nudes With Mr.Skin.' Mr. Skin, a frequent guest on Stern's Sirius satellite radio show, is something of a nudity savant. Name just about any actress and he can tell you whether she has been nude in a movie, how much nudity there was and how far into the film that nude scene appears. It's safe to say he's a guy you'd definitely want at a cocktail party, even though you might want to keep him away from your wife. We took a few minutes to chat with Mr. Skin about his new project with Howard TV, where he will count down the hottest chicks Stern has ever had on his show, how he went from a creepy guy with an uncanny knowledge of celebrity nudes to hosting his own show and whether he realizes he has the best job in the world.

PopEater: How did this obsession with celebrity nudity start?
Mr. Skin: As a kid, I used to tape as many nude scenes as I could from movies, and I would save the nude scenes on video tapes. It may sound a little creepy, but I was a lot of fun at parties.

But how did you turn this eccentric hobby into a business?
It really was just a fun party trick and then some guy overheard my friends quizzing me about nude scenes and I started going on a radio show in Chicago. Then the Internet came along and someone said, 'You have got to put what is in your head online.'

Do you have a favorite celebrity nude scene?
Phoebe Cates in 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High' at the 55 minute mark.

Have you ever gotten any backlash from the celebrities you feature?
Believe it or not, in the 11 years we've been doing this, the reaction has been overwhelmingly positive because we are positively reporting on the nudity. Even if Kathy Bates does nudity, we're excited about it. We celebrate nudity in film. We even get some actresses who contact us to tell us about upcoming nude scenes.

Each year, you guys do the Anatomy Awards, which is like the Academy Awards but for naked people. What are some of the recent nudes you are loving?
Alice Eve, who is in a new movie 'She's Out of My League.' We awarded her Best Breasts. We're very into the series 'Californication.' Eva Amurri has some amazing topless scenes in that. Jessica Biel did a movie called 'Powder Blue' that is also one of the best nude scenes.

What percentage of your time are you watching television shows or movies scouring for boobs?
Ten years ago, it was 98% of my time, but now we have close to 30 people working for the site, and I have a staff of eight guys who meticulously go through every television show and new release. They're doing it full-time. So the nude scenes come across my desk, but I'm not the guy going through frame by frame anymore.

Do you realize that you have the best job in the world?
I do. Here I am doing 'Howard's Hottest Nudes,' and then I will go to the White Sox home opener this afternoon. Yes, I know I have one of the greatest jobs in the world.

source: http://www.popeater.com/2010/04/05/howard-stern-and-mr-skin/

THE NEW RICK'S CABARET TO OPEN IN AUSTIN, TEXAS WITH RONNIE THE LIMO DRIVER AND HOWARD TV!!



THE NEW RICK'S CABARET TO OPEN IN AUSTIN, TEXAS WITH THREE CONSECUTIVE NIGHTS OF PARTIES: THURSDAY, FRIDAY, SATURDAY APRIL 8, 9, 10!


RICK'S CABARET GIRLS FROM ACROSS THE COUNTRY ARE FLYING IN TO AUSTIN TO HELP CELEBRATE THE GRAND OPENING!


SPECIAL GUEST HOST: "RONNIE THE LIMO DRIVER" FROM THE HOWARD STERN SHOW!


"HOWARD TV" WILL BE ON HAND TO FILM SOME OF THE FUN!




The opening of Rick's Cabaret Austin kicks off this Thursday April 8th with three nights of fun featuring the hottest girls anywhere! "Ronnie the Limo Driver" from the Howard Stern Show is the special guest host and he and some Rick's Cabaret girls will be filmed by "Howard TV."


To help celebrate the new Rick's Cabaret Austin, several beautiful dancers from Rick's Cabaret New York, Rick's Cabaret Las Vegas and Tootsie's Miami are flying in to dance at the new club.


"Rick's Cabaret has the sexiest dancers," said Ronnie the Limo Driver of the Howard Stern Show. "There's gonna be more great looking girls at the new Rick's Cabaret Austin this weekend than I can even describe!"


"Rick's Cabaret is the best. They know how to throw a party. Rick's Cabaret Austin is the place to be this weekend," he said.




ricks.com
Rick's Cabaret Austin
3105 S Interstate 35
Round Rock, Texas

A word or two from Jackie the Jokeman

Two girls are talking.
The first one says, "I just read that it's against the law to go topless in the New York subways."
Her friend says, "Thank God. It's bad enough when you catch your scarf in those doors."

hiya...it's sunny & warm & I got laid in December. Ahh, what a great world.

Oglio Records & I just created a new Facebook page ... jackiethejokemanmartling ... to coincide with the release of my new Oglio CD, snart ... please sign up. Lots of jokes & stories & giveaways...snart is another 78 minutes of filthy jokes, & comes with an accompanying DVD of "Stump The Joke Man" footage from Rascals, in West Orange, New Jersey, shot in the late 80's...snart will be released on 4/20...hmmm...

Last week I sat in with Sam Phillips & her gang on The Single Life on www.hottalkla.com ... it was a wild show. Please check it out.

I'm hosting The 2010 Hoboken International Film Festival. The kick-off keg party (click for ticket info) will be at 4pm on June 4th, at Cedar Lane Cinemas, Teaneck, New Jersey. "An Affirmative Act," by Ken Del Vecchio, is the opening night movie.

We love you for tuning in to Jackie's Joke Hunt on Sirius Howard 101. Please call in, 1-888-783-7610. Our next show, at 7pm EST next Tuesday, April 6th, is Jackie's Joke Hunt 169, watta wagina.

All info is on www.jokeland.com. I hope to see you very soon. All of you. You can always e-mail me direct ... jokeland@aol.com

j.

************
this Friday & Saturday, April 1-2nd
The Sweet Basil Comedy Club
@ The Sweet Basil Restaurant
1012 Route 9
Queensbury NY 12803
box office (518) 792-5233

************
Friday, April 23rd, 7:30 pm
The Adventures Of Jackie Martling
The Dix Hills Performing Arts Center
Five Towns College
305 North Service Road
Dix Hills NY 11746
Box Office (631) 656-2148

************
Saturday, May 8th, 8pm
Jackie & the legendary Billy West
"Dirty Voices"
The Record Collector Store
358 Farnsworth Ave.
Bordentown NJ 08505
box office (609) 324-0880

************


Friedman goes into a whorehouse and says, "I want a girl with crabs."
The madame says, "Get the hell out of here, none of my girls has crabs."
After he leaves, Jena says, "Business is so slow, I'm going to go yell to that guy to come back. I'll tell him I have crabs."
She goes to the door and yells, "Come on back, pal. I've got crabs. I'll do you."
They go up and get it on, and when they're done, she feels a little bad, so she says, "I have to tell you something. I don't have crabs."
Friedman says, "Yeah, you do."


************



Sabean's watching his first kid being born. The doctor lifts the baby by the feet and spanks him.
Sabean says, "Hit him again. He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place."



************


DePace is smooching with his sweetheart when he puts his hand under her skirt.
She says, "Please don't. My mother made me promise to never let a man put his hand under my skirt. But if you put your hand down my back, it's the second hole you come to."



************
What do you get when you cross a man and a porcupine?
I don't know, but boy, does my dick hurt.

*************


A minister, a priest, and a rabbi go into the jungle to do missionary work, and they're given a jeep to get around in.
Before they get in, the minister says, "Bless this jeep..."
The priest sprinkles on some Holy Water..
And the rabbi and cuts six inches off the tailpipe.



************


An old Italian guy lives on the outskirts of a small town in Italy, and he goes to church for confession.
When the priest slides open the panel in the confessional, the old guy says, "Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."
The priest says, "That was a wonderful thing you did. You don't have to confess that."
The old guy says, "There's more, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors. Oral favors. Several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sunday."
The priest says, "That was a long time ago. And by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger. And the good Lord knows that two people under those special circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."
The old guy says, "Thank you, Father. That's a very big load off my mind. I do have one more question."
The priest says, "And what is that?"
The old guy says, "Do I have to tell her the war's over?"



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This is The JokeLand E-Mail List.
If you're not supposed to be on this train, please disembark & get off now.
Please tell anybody who wants to get on to e-mail me, jokeland@aol.com ...

*************
for the kids:

What do baseball players wear in the winter?
Catcher's mittens.

Why don't elephants pick their nose?
They wouldn't know where to hide a 30-pound booger.

Did you hear about the kid who was built upside down?
His nose runs and his feet smell.

You know why farts smell?
So you can even enjoy them with headphones on.





************
What's the perfect Jewish husband?
Rich, anorexic, and impotent.
That way the wife doesn't have to work, cook, or fuck.

************


Raniolo's on the road and doesn't realize he's gone into a bar full of transvestites. He starts talking to a good-looking...ahem...woman...and they really hit it off. They have a few drinks and then they leave the bar and climb into the back seat of his car.
After a few minutes, he says, "Are you pregnant?"
She says, Umm...um, yes. Yes, I am."
Raniolo says, "I thought so. The kid's arm is hanging out."



***********



McGillicuddy's in the confessional, and he says, "Father, I feel very guilty. Many times, while I'm making love to my wife, I wonder what it'd be like to have sex with a nun."
The priest says, "Don't be ashamed, McGillicuddy. Sometimes when I'm porking a nun, I wonder what it'd be like to fuck your wife."


***********


Two girls are talking.
The first one says, "I'm going to ask my doctor how many calories there are in sperm."
Her friend says, "Why? If you're swallowing that much, nobody's gonna give a shit if you're a little chubby."



***********


One of the workers at the brewery falls in a huge vat of beer and drowns.
At the funeral, his wife is crying, "Oh, Stash, Stash, you never had a chance."
His foreman says, "What do you mean, `never had a chance'? He got out twice to piss."



***********


A married lady says to her neighbor, "The Gay Pride Parade is today."
The other married lady says, "We suck cock and take it in the ass. Why doesn't anybody ever throw us a parade?"



***********



Schmidlap wants to marry an innocent girl, so he moves to Des Moines and starts dating a girl in the church choir. Soon they get engaged, and go to New York City on their honeymoon. The first night they're sitting in the hotel lobby when unescorted women start parading past them.
His bride says, "Why are those women all dressed up but they're alone?"
Schmidlap says, "They're fast women."
She says, "What's that mean?"
Schmidlap says, "They get paid hundreds of dollars for having sex with men."
She says, "You're shitting me. The fucking priest only gave us apples."



***********
Why'd the Polish skin diver drown?
His snorkle didn't open.

***********


Two guys are drinking when the first guy leans over and starts stroking the other guy's beard.
He says, "Your face feels just like my wife's pussy."
The other guy strokes his beard and says, "You're right."



***********


A big fat Polish woman's pushed into a gas station in her new BMW.
The mechanic says, "What's the matter?
She says, "It just conked out."
After he we works on it a few minutes, it's purring like a kitten.
She says, "What was the matter?"
He says, "Just crap in the carburetor."
She says, "How often do I have to do that?"



*************
Confucius say: "Girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip."

*************
We love you for tuning in to
Jackie's Joke Hunt on Sirius channel Howard 101,
calling in, 1-888-783-7610, & helping to spread the word...
our next show, this Tuesday, April 6th,
is Jackie's Joke Hunt 169, watta wagina ...

Please call Jackie & Ian on the air with your jokes & comments at
1-888-stern 101 ... 1-888-783-7610 ... please e-mail us at: jokeland@aol.com
on the Internet at www.sirius.com
airs live Tuesdays at 7-8 p.m. Eastern
repeats Thursday at midnight Eastern, Sundays 6 a.m. Eastern





*************
always great jokes! you owe me!

It's finally here! The Jackie Button is now for sale in the Apple App Store!
68 Jackie noises & 68 great PG jokes...only 99 cents!

************


Hamell's wife's been in a coma for ten years. For ten years, she's never spoken or moved at all. Then one day a nurse is giving her a sponge bath, and as the sponge rubs across the wife's twat, she moans. The nurse gets the doctor, the doctor tries it, and she moans again. So the doctor calls Hamell to the hospital.
The doctor says, "Mr. Hamell, we have a breakthrough. I think a little oral sex might snap her out of it. You go into her room, and we'll monitor her from out here in the hall."
Hamell goes into his wife's room, and the doctor and the nurse watch her heart monitor go "bleep...bleep"...and then die out. She flatlines, completely flatlines. They run into the room as Hamell's pulling up his pants.
The doctor says, "What happened?"
Hamell says, "I think she choked to death."



************
www.jokeland.com

for information on Jackie's shows, you can always "Use Your Finger!"
thirty years of free jokes!
and dial (516) 922-WINE ...(516) 922-9463
not a pay service, just a local call...

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“HOWARD STERN’S HOTTEST NUDES WITH MR. SKIN”

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Queen of Mean returns to the Bubba the Love Sponge show

HEY QUEEN OF THE MEAN FANS!

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING!LISTEN IN WHEN LL RETURNS TO THE BUBBA THE LOVE SPONGE
SHOW ON THURSDAY, APRIL 8!

Lisa can't wait to see her friend Bubba the Love Sponge next week when she appears
on his radio show IN-STUDIO for the first time in almost TWO YEARS!! Check them out
on Thursday, April 8, at 8:20 a.m. EST, when they're likely to talk about. . . .
well, everything! (You know Bubba – there's no subject that's off-limits). And Lisa
will finally introduce Bubba to her fiancĂ© Jimmy Big Balls. Hope they both can handle it! You definitely won’t want to miss this one.

That's Thursday, April 8, at 8:20 a.m. EST!!

Interview with Jesse Jane with Shabooty


I’ve always …it’s not even about having a crush or not, because having a crush on the hottest girl ever is cliche, but I’ve always thought of Jesse Jane as the hottest girl ever. Way too pretty to be doing p0rn. Which is the reason why she’s a contract girl for Digital Playground. And how do I say this, she’s officially cool as fuck. She’s a Howard Stern Show regular (listen in to find out when she’ll be on the show next, hint: it’s very soon.)

Anyways, she’s a doll. Hot chicks with good personalities… only in 2010. We spoke for 20 minutes yesterday, and here is the full conversation:

listen here